I'm not ready for you not to be here
I'm not ready to watch you fade away
I will never understand why this is happening
Especially now that things are finally going okay
I don't get why it has to be someone so special
Someone as loved and adored as you
Especially after all the shit you've had in your life
After all this world has put you through
I don't understand why he has to take
The centre, the ROCK of our family
The one that has held everything together
This will never make sense to me
The thing that hurts the most
Is what you have to go through
The pain, the fear is so undignified
By the end of this you won't even be you
Why can't you have been taken from us
In so many more years from this day
Brain, lung and pancreas cancer?!
It shouldn't be fucking ending this way!
I can't stand to see you suffer
I don't want you to feel any pain
But I can't deal with the thought
Of never seeing that beautiful face again
I know you need me to hold together
I know you need us ALL to be strong
But how can I pretend everything is right
When everything is so DAMN WRONG?
I know I have to keep my chin up
A mother I am soon to become
I pray that you get to meet little Emma
Before your time with us is done
My heart is slowly breaking
Crumbling into tiny pieces
Just know you will ALWAYS be loved
By ALL your family, your grandchildren and nieces
I love you so much my beautiful Nana
My angel you will remain always in my heart
I will never forget that gentle smile
No matter how far or long we are apart
Author notes
Just some emotions I had to get out.
Written August 22nd, 2006
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Comments
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once I heard all poems are prayers, all prayers a poem, Mara and the very reading of this poem is so much a prayer by you for your Grandmother. I keep both you and her and your family and the baby in thought and prayer...
Both you and your Nana are strong women, Mara...and it's to know little Emma will have the strength of both of you combined.
Jo -
Hey Mara This is truly one of my fav writes of your darlen. I know you must be going through hell write now but try to remain strong wen you stress the baby will stress also. I know its easier said then doen just know any time you need anyone to talk to buddy you know were I am just try to be that strong person I know you are.
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WOW!! this is a really fucking great write!! I know it hurts so much to lose someone you love so much.. and to watch them in pain wishing there was something that you could do to get rid of all there pain!! I know that feeling, I wrote poems about it also on my grandfather... it hurts so much and i know this person means so much to you. i can tell by the write! its so emotional!!You just need to keep your head high and spend as much as time together as possible.... that way you wont regret not doing it when that person passes like i did! It hurts even worse! Dont be afraid to get closer! I wish you the best of luck and this write was so emotional and great! keep up the great work!
(i didnt know you was having a baby
Im so happy for you!How far along???)
Shannon*Leah -
BRILLIANT!!
oh sweety, this was absolutely beautiful, u should print it out and give it to your nana, im sure she'd love it, just like I did i hope everythings ok, i miss ya, and im here for u wheenever u need another yummy mummy's advice
love always
Dani
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