....silence of death.... by lyrical-rebel
allpoetry.com/Poem/1908389
This poem written in simple, fluid language, moved me deeply. One particular line 'bullet invades her frail heart', that line, I hated the author for having written that line. Too cruel I told her... but then... life isn't so merciful to everyone...
Cradled in God's Loving Arms by Fairy Nutty Buddy
allpoetry.com/poem/2110466
Until this moment, have you ever given a thought to how you want your last day on earth to be? Neither did I.. until I read this poem.
Author notes
Written August 26th, 2006
A contest entry
- Two of your favourite poems by other AP writers by dp robertson.
300 points, ended September 27, 2006, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I love.... by theslayer
....silence of death.... by lyrical-rebel - allpoetry.com/Poem/1908389
What the nominator thought- This poem written in simple, fluid language, moved me deeply. One particular line 'bullet invades her frail heart', that line, I hated the author for having written that line. Too cruel I told her... but then... life isn't so merciful to everyone...
Congratulations! This poem was nominated as one of the two best poems on this site for a favourites comp run by D P Robertson. You were nominated by theslayer
What I thought - This has moments of poetry madness whilst expressing Man’s madness. It is chock full of clichés and phrases trotted out whenever this scenario arises and when a writer feels compelled to express it through poetry. However there are some really howling cliché and or tautology moments in this- you could look at
Fire rains from the skies above, (think about it – skies below?)
with a few buttons pushed...
nuclear weapons now unleashed,
bringing a swift but painful death...
and with one final explosion...
its all over.
and I am sure Martha Reeve and the Vandellas would raise more than an eyebrow to
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide,
The fact is I could cut and paste nearly the entire poem with one worn phrase after another. It is okay for what it is attempting to achieve but really it does lack the original sparkle doesn’t it?
David
PS This may help - allpoetry.com/Column/2242851
Cradled in God's Loving Arms by Fairy Nutty Buddy - allpoetry.com/poem/2110466
What the nominator thought- Until this moment, have you ever given a thought to how you want your last day on earth to be? Neither did I.. until I read this poem.
Congratulations! This poem was nominated as one of the two best poems on this site for a favourites comp run by D P Robertson. You were nominated by theslayer
What I thought - Well that certainly seems more appealing way to go than having one’s rat gnawed remains scraped off a park bench and dumped into a medical waste bag by the police, doesn’t it? This is very sweet and certainly carries a lovely sentiment of belief. But as far as the poem goes the absolute confidence you will be missed and the certainty that you will go to heaven is in itself an affirming piece of poetry- and I really hope for your sake it pans out that way. It has good images and warm affection and as a reader, cynical as I am, I felt better for having read it.
David
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