Down her racing moonbeam smile
A hidden well of past regret
Dancing on needle points
One-two-three-spin-two-three-split
Back around yesterday
Where everything makes more sense
Twisted upside down
Dancers are a rare anomaly
And they choose to stand and stare
When she enters the room
All painted grace and moonbeam smile
Curtsies for her silent crowd
She twists and turns so fast she flies
One-two-three-spin-two-three-split
Arching her back and pointing her toes
The stone-faced crowd spares her applause
She swirls around on silver tips
Forever remembered, her danse macabre
Blowing a kiss to the Reapers scythe
Bade it wait to join her
Author notes
First poem I've written in a while - please be critical.
Written August 31st, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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Not quite sure what to say. I really liked it, but the ending just kinda threw me off. It was sounding really upbeat, and fun, then it took a turn really fast. But that is ok too, as some do that. I enjoyed the read. You did a great job on this one. Thanks, for sharing.
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stole my smile...
this is not what i expected, i guess i should've looked at the type of poem it was, but i didn't.
i agree very much with the person above me, great use of imagery, but i didn't like the ending.
It ended up being a chimera, it started beautiful and ended with death, i would say more but things that take my smile take my thoughts as well, i would applaud this, but i don't applaud for death, in any form, not even the Grim Reaper, srry
But i did like it, up until the end -
‘Fly’s’ should be ‘flies’. I liked this poem, it seemed quite a poignant write. Great use of imagery here. Keep writing, I liked this poem, quite dark and well written.
All the best
Pozo
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