I am
nothing today
grasping smiles; gone
in her angry words
[because we love]
You are
ducking fists
[of double standards]
for hurt feelings
and stretched out
blames.
We are empty
before full ever had
a chance,
and 'i love yous'
barely formed into words.
Author notes
I write so you understand my silence.
Written September 6th, 2006
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Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Wonderful writing
Very deep. Very raw. And another brilliant piece of writing. I loved this as well. You have major talent. -
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And I am full
from words held in silence
With the waiting for the
full of her, sweet full
to see herself
as I do
-
This was very good! I really liked it! I loved the emotion you added to it by spacing out your words. This was a very nice write for the topic. Keep up the good work and goodluck in my contest!!
-Whispers -
lol Horus thanks for that...
-
Great
Some deep emotion here. If the contest was up to me, you would have won. -
My Dear Sister,
There is nothing in this world that would ever make your silence bigger than my love for you. You are precious, like fine silk, and you never have to explain a thing to us. My grandmother used to say "silence is golden". I now know that to be truth! Sometimes we must be quiet, still, unmovable so that we can settle the heart and mind. There is pain in love, we both know that. There is also a huge gift in having had a relationship that was full of fire before the smoldering. You are a beautiful spirit and so very much more than "nothing". I would like to adds a verse to the verse zt added:
and while I am silent
I will remember
all...
because love
even the lack thereof
is filled with chaos
on ocassion
but in the end
it is the winner
♥ I LOVE YOU! ♥
Renee
-
We are empty
before full ever had
a chance,
There are some amazing lines in this piece!!!! -
Grout keeps tile together.
-
We are empty
before full ever had
a chance,
and 'i love yous'
barely formed into words.
I like this stanza/verse very much. it's very realistic and honest. Great poem -
lol Criss I just saw your verdict, Jim is wise we should all listen to him more. thank you
-
listen to zt...
I don't deem to know what it is that is making you feel like this, but remember...man (and woman) is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish and letting go creates what is desired...
Venessa this is so sad. And yet so beautifully, if heart-wrenchingly written.
~ crisstiena
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While you may be "hollow" right now, you are certainly not "nothing". This is all in the present tense and shows us not where it will go--where you want it to go. It is for that reason that I think you left out a verse...
I will wait
for her to dissipate
like the smoke from
the fire she started
because we
are worth it
-
Venessa
The first thing I want to address is you don't have to write for us to understand your silence hon. Write because you want to write, to purge emotions or let go of some things that are waivering within you. We will always be here. Friends don't stop due to silence hon. They may not understand everything but they are always here for you. This piece of poetry falls upon someone like you are letting go of painful emotions that I can not even begin to describe but with the emptiness is the void that one day will be fulfilled in it's entirety because you took the time to let it go. With that in mind remember when it is replaced it will be completely full of love, life and laughter once again dear friend...
Much love to you and yours always
Thinking of you and wishing for a time of many blessings to spill upon you very soon and neverending
Love & Light~
~Joy
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