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someday; just not today


i am confused

in shades of blue,

dark black

consumed

 in dejavu's

that never happened

              [that just don't happen to me]

i am blind

in the art of surreal.

i am lost

lingering in lonesome

wondering why exhaustion

always gets the best of me

and

foolish

finds its way

to my middle name.

i am selfish

because we both know

this could all be avoided

if i would only

face the fact

that you would embrace

all that is us

if we had loved

any other time

but now.

Author notes


Written September 25th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • heygoo
    February 4, 2007
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    the last stanza here is just wonderful and ties up the piece so nicely. beautiful work.

  • jayrish
    January 9, 2007

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    Well scripted

    Beautifully written, i find the best sort of poetry is that which is set in simplicity but masks an array of feeling; lovely way to set words to motion,
    well done.

  • WayWithWords
    January 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    neat wording

    and
    foolish
    finds its way
    to my middle name.
    I thought that part was well worded. I really liked it. I think the poem overall has a sad tone to it, but that you keep the reader going because it just takes you in to it! Good job!
    PoeticThunder*




  • DawnBaby gold member
    December 29, 2006

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    I loved this

    This one just hits me between the eyes, excellent! Almost like we are living the same experience. Keep up the great work!


  • lysdarling
    December 27, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    saying so much, in simple words, yea! sometimes i think poets have difficulty saying what needs said without getting caught up in the many variations of a word. this line "if you would only face the fact that you would embrace all that is if we had loved any other time but now" made my shed a few tears but it's a good thing, you did a fantastic job, i really enjoyed reading this
    -lys


  • Gypsy Butterfly gold member
    December 18, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    This is so truly expressive and clearly full of emotion. I can so relate to this fine piece of prose. Thanks for sharing... x Butterfly.


  • incipientinferno
    December 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Don't worry about the punctuation and caps. Those of us who do not have an English Lit. degree still enjoyed it. Guess you just have to be in the "stupid group" to get it. Good write, typical of your being down methinks, but not bad nonetheless.

  • known2balone223
    October 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    sad. please feel better and i love your writing. believe it or not but you have talent. return the favor if you can.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~dani~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Kale
    October 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Consumed in shades of blue...I love that. I understand about writing in lover case, that is me sometimes, like my innermost thoughts....any emotion.. I liked your poem and enjoyed reading.

  • poetryality silver member
    October 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Love has no rights or wrongs. It does carry in its travel bag joy and pain. This is a painful dose. Simply written, and tugs at the heart strings. Excellent!



    Always ♥

    Renee
  • MiscSad-Poet
    October 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is sad, I wish you all the love in the world. Good luck with your writing.

  • Venessa
    September 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yes I purposely left out the punctuation and caps .... I tend to do that when I write sad... some like it some don't some understand it some don't but thanks for the read.

  • Rev Alimae
    September 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    M'Lady Venessa,

    Unfortunately your poetry is not to my taste; then again it might have something to do with having an English Lit. degree. While reading I find myself critiquing, thinking to my self things such as “That should be capitalized.” and ”A punctuation mark should be there.” Which can obviously detract from the piece.
    This in no way reflects on you as a poet, it is my own failing and limitation. For sadly I could never write the way that you have here; I do not have the capacity to write simply and with easily understood meaning.

    I wish you the best in all that you set out to do, may it come with ease and may you enjoy all.

    Rev. Alimae
  • luvdrkchocolate
    September 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this is so sad. But I like how you put it. It was really simple in its language but said so much. I could really relate to this. I know a lot of people have been in this ugly place of it just not being the right time. It's a very sad place to be. I think you have done a great job of expressing yourself here.
1 - 14 of 14