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Attic Whispers




The sun had almost fully set,

in the sleepy town of Mobet.

Autumn leaves on the ground,

with winters whisper all around.


High in a clubhouse of a very old oak tree,

three boys drew straws to see who it would be.

With the short straw in the hand of the youngest boy,

the two others snickered as their eyes danced for joy.

It is you Mark, the eldest boy declared,

unless you’re chicken, unless you’re scared.

Still holding the straw in front of his eyes,

Mark gulped from the fear of what it implied.


You must hurry and go now before the sun disappears,

she locks her porch doors when the whispers draw near.

You must reach her attic and stay there all night,

no matter what evil, horrible or frightening sight.


Out of the clubhouse through the woods went Mark,

to the creepy house at the edge of Swamp Lark.

Biting his lower lip to stop it from quivering,

Mark slipped through the porch door, his body shivering.

Frozen with fear, he spotted the attic door,

exactly the way it was described in town lore.

Mark opened the door and proceeded up a narrow climb,

with each step in the staircase echoing an eerie chime.

Opening the door at the top of the stairs,

revealed a room that was dark, empty and bare.

But, at second glance Mark spotted a light,

Through a hole in the floor, shining bright.

On his belly he laid, putting his eye to the hole,

he saw a room with a fireplace, a parlor of old.

In a chair next to the fire, sitting quiet and still

was a very old woman named Nora Ann Hill.


Hours had passed but nothing was happening,

So tired and sleepy, Mark thought of napping.

Awakened by sounds of music long forgotten,

Mark peered in the hole at something shocking.

The room was the same but the old lady was gone,

Instead there was a young girl dancing to song.

The words of the song kept repeating a single phrase,

"Come Forth Children of the Night, It's Time to Raise."

Mark watched the girl dance as she sang the tune,

like in a dream, she twirled and spun around the room.

Who was the mysterious girl, this beauty of the night?

Why was she glowing brightly from a strange light?

Caught in the trance of this beautiful princess,

Mark at first missed the sounds of horrible hisses.

As the screams got louder, he would match the sounds

to several dark shadows, rising up out of the ground.

His heart began pounding until he thought it would burst,

from the horror of these shadows rising up from the earth.

And just when he thought he should get up and run,

The shadows took the form of boys, vibrant and young.

This can’t be happening! It must be a dream!

But, Hold it! Wait! Mark wanted to scream.

Two of the boys looked strangely familiar,

of faces on posters, at the movie theatre.

He watched in horror as they danced with the girl,

all laughing and spinning as she would twirl and twirl.

Mark rubbed his eyes and peered back through the hole,

to a scene so utterly terrifying, it froze his very soul.

The dancing had stopped and the music as well,

As Mark witnessed a scene straight out of hell.

For the girl and her companions had stopped their dance,

and were now staring straight at Mark with an evil glance.

Oh Dear God! I can’t believe this horror!

Mark watched the shadows return to the floor.

With a cloud of dark mist now surrounding the girl,

Mark watched a transformation not of this world.

The old woman now appeared where the girl had been standing,

waving her finger at Mark, she now began chanting.

Is she a witch or is she something much more evil?

Why has she trapped the souls of the towns young people?

I must get away from this horrible place,

Mark searched for the door at a frantic pace.

Reaching out in the dark to feel his way,

he heard voices whispering; "You Can’t Get Away!"

Hisses he could hear all about the room,

with the old woman’s chant echoing his doom.

Many hands he could feel pulling at his legs,

as his will to fight, faded in a dark haze.

Mark would never be seen in Mobet again,

except on a poster, in a theatre, near towns’ end.

Late each night as the whispers fill the air,

through a hole in an attic you’ll find Mark, IF YOU DARE!



Author notes

FAH faithandhope

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 30 of 366     1 2 3 4  next >  (show all)

  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    November 23
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this was a long piece, though I must say it did keep my attention and I did enjoy it fully. Great way to weave the imagery.

  • csmmoms2
    November 21
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    Stunning

    Such an epic write. You should be very proud to have written this. What a good storyline and title too. Your style captures the reader to no end.
    Whispers are universal speak-we're all the same. Wow.
    If you're curious,,,my page...Whispers.
    -c

    . Rewarded 4


  • storiesuntold gold member
    November 21
    Edit | Reply

    Awsome write

    I feel I have read this once before a long while back and yes still an excellent write here

  • knitonepearlone
    November 20
    Edit | Reply
    A good story and well told in rhyme as stipulated. Wonderful imagery! Thanks for entering.


  • TabbyJoy
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    I saw how long this was, and doubted I'd be entertained. But happily, I was wrong! Very good story. Nice little teaser at the end. Well done!

  • daniann gold member
    October 31
    Edit | Reply

    good, i had to keep reading.


  • AngelEyes13
    October 29

    Edit | Reply
    ABSOLUTLY LOVE THIS! (I turned the light on in my room, lol.) It was wonderful! Thank you sooo much for entering my contest! Gosh I could see everything you were describing. Great job! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
  • Shadowed Phoenix
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    I am by no means a fan of alternating rhyme or long poetry but I must admit I liked this one. You held your rhyme perfectly, smoothly, strait through. A very interesting story, kinda creepy. Thank you for entring my contest.

  • ERbby silver member
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    in a way it was a little creepily lol but i must say i have NEVER in all these years of reading poetry read one as this it was long and my Attention span sucks but i got throgh the whole poem because i was so in to it i love it bunches finalist


    vanna

  • Shya
    October 19
    Edit | Reply
    Creepy, and a good poem... this would make an excellent scary story, if you ever decided to rewrite it in that form. Thanks for entering. shya

  • Kappa
    October 17
    Edit | Reply
    I have commented on this piece before, and thx for entering. But I would also appreciate some effort on your part. Yes, this is a master piece but it is old, time to make a new one, I know you can do it.

  • LadyUnique silver member
    October 13
    Edit | Reply
    this must have taken forever to write especially because it rhymes pretty good rhyme too
    i might have read and commented on this before...
    really good job on this
  • trekkergirl silver member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply

    WOW this is awesome

    wow this is an excellent write. I really do like vampire stories and this one reads just like a story to me. It leaves me wanting to read more. I just couldn't stop reading til the end. I loved it totally!

    . Rewarded 4

  • creepily awesome!

    this painted an excellent and clear picture, and actually made me shiver, i loved it! great job!


    • FAH faithandhope
      October 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the great comment and for taking the time to read my story/poem. Have a great day! FAH

  • brokenangel777
    October 13

    Edit | Reply

    I think it would make a good scary story.....

    I think it would make a good scary story, because it was amazenignly... awesom! i loved it it acullay scared me and... its hard for anyone to scare me.

  • autumnspirit
    October 13
    Edit | Reply
    what an amazing write, gripping, vivid and give me gooseys!!! what an amazing talent you have!


    • FAH faithandhope
      October 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for your great comment and for taking the time to read "Attic Whispers" I'm glad you liked it! FAH

  • beachhoney9
    October 13
    Edit | Reply
    It is classy, and very interesting. I LOVED reading this poem.

  • PamelaP
    October 13
    Edit | Reply
    A good poem with a great creepy story.
    Pammi


  • littlefishone
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    ooh spookee i really enjoyed this your imagry is amazing i can smell the dust of that attic this really is very clever and you kept quite good rhyme for such a long piece, and kept my interest too you had me gripped. This is a very good halloween piece,I will read this again on halloween but not when Im in the house alone and I certainly wont be visiting any attiocs anytime soon thanks for sharing thi spine chilling read with me take care of yourself, and remember to keep an extra big pumpkin handy to ward off the evil spirits you created lol littlefishone


  • Pensitivity
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    This is extremely vivid. The rhyme was not the best, but it was far from the worst, and the story is great for Halloween. IF YOU DARE! lol, good ending. Chilling tale. Makes me almost glad I've never been trick-or-treating before!


  • Faded Existence
    October 7
    Edit | Reply
    I love the ending!

    -Faded

  • Kimojuno
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering this contest, the rhyme and the flow are both quite excellent.

    I thank you for entering and "dare" you to keep writing,
    Jeff.

  • BehindTheShadow gold member
    October 2
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent, kept me captured the whole way through!


  • lady8
    September 25
    Edit | Reply

    Just in time for Oct.

    This would make a great childs story book. Great job in keeping a creepy story in a poem.BRAVO.

1 - 30 of 366     1 2 3 4  next >  (show all)