Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Revenge

there were two
on that fateful night

you should have worn a belt
i shouldnt have drank that

if only you didnt trip me
i wouldnt have fallen for you

but you did
so intensely
and you used me
so immensley

i will make you pay
for what you did to me

i'll find you
pin you to the wall
whisper to you

the stench of vodka will be so strong
as you get worried

i slice the blade
across your neck
the blood spills down your chest

and i watch you suffocate
as you hear your last words
from me; "fuck you"

and on that fateful night
there was one left

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • IfTomorrowNeverCame silver member
    December 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Ummm.... Wow? Like.. this isn't real is it?
    Scared lolz. Great write, I love the insanity and strength of the piece, however the set up could be a bit better for my likings (meaning Grammer and lines).

    Jai.

    • -MrsWonka-
      December 4, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      well part of it is and some isnt. obviously the killing bit is what i WANT to do but wont...

  • writhing infection
    November 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    YEY!! BLOOD!!!! XD!


  • Chill Out Kid
    November 29, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Reading this I had a picture of this woman I know in my head. Is that bad?

    "intensely"
    "immensely"

    Spelling.

    Poem, awesome. Revenge, alright. I understand the feelings. I've wanted to act on mine before... but didn't. Would've loved to though. Great way to show the dark feelings. Good luck xoxo


    • -MrsWonka-
      December 3, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      im not sure.
      i sorted the spelling, thanks.
      yeah hehe thanks x
1 - 6 of 6