You've blackened my heart
and poisoned my soul
you've dulled my luminous shine
and made me yours [im no longer mine]
i beleived all your lies, just so
you would love me, but now i think
that i never even loved you, and it was
all just a hoax on my heart
i played your game, and
you played mine, and im almost
certain that im the winner because
i didn't give up, or declare defeat
(silently as it seems)
and when you hurt me
i didn't feel anything
and when you made me regret
i listened to all time low
and Alex was agreeing with me
"fuck rgrets, and lets
burn this city down"
Author notes
ehhh this is horrible. i know.
hi?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Vonnegut ending...
my gawd I loved that ending. not that I didn't like the whole entire thing, but the ending is award winning, seriously. It just punctuates the power of the piece, like tying up a big red box with a black velvet bow. I love your work.
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Good Write. I liked it. I liked the title as well. Very good. I like your use of words.
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Awww
This isnt horrible, I really like it! Your first few stanzas were really pretty and you had really good word choice and feeling there. At first I didnt really like the last part, but i do now, because it makes it seem more personal... and i can totally relate lol i always listen to ATL when im sad. I love The Party Scene. Nice one Chels.
♥ Crystal
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thanks you much
im sorry i havent been cmting yours. i always forget to.
and you look like brandy in your picture heh. and yeah ATL makes me happy in that special kind of way
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just one critical thing, and its just a typo (i have like a million in my poems) in the second to last line, rgrets hould be regrets, i think, idk
but speaking of that part of the poem, it was my favorite
""fuck regrets, and lets
burn this city down"
it shows your anger and it is metaphorical, like maybe the city means yourself or your world or your views.
♥ let me spell it out, t.h.i.s. i.s. n.o.t. h.o.r.r.i.b.l.e. !!!!!!
its got a unique twist to it. the point of view and the title work really well together. you have your own signiture style with the words that you choose and where you put them in the poem and how great it works with your title.
great write!!! i ♥ you sissy!!!!
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yeah its supposed to be regrets heh
i didnt even notice woo.
haha thanks your too awesome.
i always look forward to your comments.
thats part of why i still keep posting on this site.
your are truly an ahhmazing person.
and i hope you get somewhere with your writing
or if you dont wnat to do that in life
then whatever you want to excell at
i hope you are the best of the best.
thank you much for the wonderful comment.
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you are so sweet!!!!!!!!!! i dont even know what to say, because like no one has said something that nice to me! i feel so good that i make a difference and you are one of the best. your writting has grown so much and it is so unique and beautiful. you should try to visit a publisher or enter poetry contests in your town or something. you have talent, and you are the best sister EVER!!!!!!
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haha your sweeter.
yay i made someone happy.
that makes me happy.
thank you for that wonderful compliment/comment.
it was the best one ever.
and thank you
i never thought my poems
were as good as you make them sound.
and your the bestest sister ever too
xxx
<33
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