A life signify struggle
From moment to moment
Holding on to life
With death following like a shadow
Life runs many a mile
When it looks back
The shadow is there unattached
Unlike life throbbing
A death has resting place
Life takes the lead
Leaving the trophy
In the hands of death
Life makes memorable things
Death is even more memorable
It wipes out all memories
That man cherished so long
Discrimination is never its wont
The wise the stupid and religionist
Comes under its ambit
When it takes leave
World witness intense violence
An abode of peace
Which nothing disturbs
Where all could find equal status
The struggle of life is ephemeral
The perennial peace that
Death entice endures more
A contest entry
- He Took his Own Life! Please... comfort poems needed... by Fantasy dream.
475 points, ended May 1, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Using The Poetic Elements... BIRTH OR DEATH by RezLife.
600 points, ended October 31, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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this is such a good poem and full of emotion but i had a hard time with the repetition of the words "life" and "death" although it would have been ok to use the words a few times, I think much more depth could be brought to this with a few replacement words. this is in no way meant to bash this poem because it is indeed good but if you play around with those 2 words just a little bit, it could be "great"
best of luck in the contest. be well and be blessed
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Amazing imagery here, great write. Good luck in the contest!
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This is a great poem. Exactly what I was hoping for. Great imagery, I love " with death following like a shadow/life runs many a mile." And I love the ending lines.
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I truly enjoyed the metamorphosis of the piece. Thank you for the comforting words in my time of grief. Patti
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Really a stirring poem!
Very profound thoughts in this poem that help the reader to get a comforting perspective of life and death. 
Thank you so much for bringing this brilliant poem to our contest for comfort!
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Great Write
Great write its true in what you say and death does follow us like a shadow haunting us then BAM!! deaths got you an your gone i really liked the follow of this write was great to read. oh an also i just wrote a poem similair to this about death an how it haunts us like a disease i think you might like it you should go check it out anyways great write an keep up the good work!
Catch ya around
+Wellsy+
. Rewarded 4
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Discrimination is never its wont
The wise the stupid and religionist
Comes under its ambit
When it takes leave
World witness intense violence
An abode of peace
Which nothing disturbs
Where all could find equal status
The struggle of life is ephemeral
The perennial peace that
Death entice endures more
well done , good imagery here
. Rewarded 4
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i can really relate. this piece reall made me feel
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I like this piece. The ending is really powerful and brought the entire piece together. Some of the wording was really nice as well. Good job on this write. Keep up the good work.
Love always,
Kristen ღ -
Such truth is spoken here. Death follows life, you cannot escape it. That is the way it is meant to be. We run our life, with death always at our heels.
"life takes the lead, leaving the trophy, in the hands of death"
what a wonderful insight. whatever we create in life, will be our trophy in death.
I also loved this line:
"Discrimination is never its wont"
for death does not discriminate, it comes for us all, the rich, the famous, the poor, all equally.
Absolutely wonderful job on this one.
So insightful, and deep.
. Rewarded 4
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The starkness of the background enhances the title...yeah it may have been darker even black but .......a deep post full of expressive description and truth. All living things must die and i am perplexed why we tend not to talk about death in society more and no you dont have to dwell on it but so many people seem to fear it ..... it i sad only for those left behind to mourn but in that mourning the celebration of life keeps the memories alive. You have penned one very well crafted and respectful post on a subject that can be difficult to find that balance thank you.
. Rewarded 4
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I love and adore this poem, and I think many if not all the readers before agree that this is a very beautiful and well written and a well crafted poem. I like the rhyme and I love the alliteration. This is simply spectacular. I applaud you and I salute you for it. This poem has great imagery, so much description and details. Its incredibly good. you have terrific potential. peace to you always.
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Great focus...
Here there is a point that is very deep and great focused approach on the subject taken which is almost very abstract and very difficult to interpret...All the religions and all literature is unable to correctly interpret this subject which you have been tried here to define and that too just in few words..Kudos to you dear... -
I really like the darkness, yet truth to this peice. Very nice. it's a very visual analogy. I could see this thing running through life (being life) looking behind him to only see death right behind him only he's not running he's strolling along waiting to claim his trophy (the body)
My favorite lines were
Unlike life throbbing
A death has resting place
Life takes the lead
Leaving the trophy
Well anyways Keep up the good work and keep on writing
Love, Kaylyn -
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Thank you you enjoyed the poem. Life is like that as you said ultimately leaving the trophy(body) into the hands of death.Lovely comment my dearest.I like you to read my work to profit me. With lots of love
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