Tara lies
arms and legs
splayed
all snowsuit and mitts
on the white lawn.
I bite my mother’s tongue
knowing she won’t freeze.
She has shoveled the sidewalk
from home
to the end of the street.
I watch from the warmth
of the kitchen
as limbs sweep once
then pause
and sweep again.
She stands carefully
and admires her work.
In a list
A contest entry
- a winter's day... by Cat.
450 points, ended December 16, 2006, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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That was really nice. I liked the part "I bite my mothers toungue". Fun images. Great poem!
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Isn't it a wonerful time in life when rolling and tussling topsy-turvy in the snow is the answer to all our needs and problems ?!
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I can see this so clearly.My son loves the snow and I watch from inside.Very sweet and I love the mother's tongue line.
~Helen
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Congrats. You have a way of packing so much nuance into such a compact piece. The biting stanza is perfect, true, but it is the final image that reverberates for me. What a good winter read. I see a painting here, in blue.
Peace
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this was a joy to read jan, i felt the cold snow and saw the youthful energy of the girl, and know how hard it is sometimes to keep my own tounge still when i want to 'mother' my own.. snow clean and fresh on a walk, these lines are fresh and clean too...good reading this one.
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this is what snow is- this is a winter day with the glory of the child seen through the eyes of the mother- a lovely recollective piece without all the fancy drippy stuff to weigh it down-
your voice has changed of late- it seems more matter of fact- yet still just as effective.
nicely done- thanks for entering.
m
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Kids playing in snow
a real icon
This has a Norman Rockwell feel to it. Middle America, Middle class and beautiful
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I bite my mother’s tongue
knowing she won’t freeze.
I love that... lol.. it makes the entire write for me in so many ways.. as I've found myself biting my own and my mother's [figuratively].. and my 'mother' tongue so many times
but...
I find more in the rest of it too, as if from two perspectives ..the daughter/mother.. you and she..
and I find myself there ...so often that I can stand in the kitchen with you..
best of luck..
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I love I bite my mother's tongue. How appropriate is that. I can hear my mother saying "if you sit on the cold ground too long you are going to get sick. if you don't wear a hat you will catch a dreadful cold." And I remember being a kid thinking "ah Ma, hush up can't you see I'm having a blast?"
Every once in a while I hear myself almost go into something like that -- so when I bite my mother's tongue, I bite my mother's tongue.
Pretty picture. Good luck in the contest.
Lisa
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yes ... its lovely ... i love the imagery throughout and most particularly in the first stanza and the 'mother's tongue' ... >>> GINA
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This is so nice Jan...
al
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