Why must you always be around
following me wherever i go
do you have no place of your own
i don't follow you home
your lost in a web of lies and intrigue
your pulling me in
am i the obsession
the reason you live
i turn in the street
your not far behind
my heart skips a beat
will the fear ever go
will you ever leave me alone
in the darkness of the night
i fall asleep to the sound of my own cries
are you the obsession in my eyes
or am i obsessed with your obsession
am i seeing whats not there
am i lost
or do you stare
A contest entry
- Obsession by Polaja.
700 points, ended December 29, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Alright, there is one litle thing that you may like to change . . . there is a difference between 'your' and 'you're'; I suggest that you edit your poem to make corrections in this area. I'm sorry, it is just a pet peeve I have because it detracts from the poem when I'm reading it.
Apart from that little thing, this is a very strong poem and the question at the end (I assume it is a question, even though no punctuation) is a brilliant finish.
Thankyou for your entry and good luck
Polly
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