Sitting Here

Sitting here looking at your picture,
it makes me laugh.
thinking about how happy you were.
knowin we had each other was all that mattered.

sitting here looking in your eyes,
i can tell that this has changed you.
me making one single mistake.
why has this changed you?

sitting here looking at my razorblade,
you tell me to stop or its over.
i look at you,
and laugh.

sitting here you watch me bleed,
bleed from my legs and arms.
i fucked myself up for you.
to show you that i love you.

sitting here in the hospital,
i see you asleep by my bed.
i wake you,
to tell you thank you.

sitting here back at home,
you hold me close.
and i say,
"never again"

sitting here in bed,
i know i will do it again.
the bright red blood is a rush.
the pain is perfect.

sitting here...
sitting here...
i make my own life.
i am sorry.