the content contained
creatively born from
wild dancing images,
smiling light, and simple ecstasy
something so small
holds the ability
to possess me into
a frenzy of song
a shoulder for tears
a hug for no reason
a random dance
a sprinkler, crazy people
life can complete
if treated right
make it happy and simple
viola! success through eternity
a sweet kiss
a light touch
a taste of laughter
a day of jokes and games
anything small, simple, random
anything for no reason
true happiness comes to you
through the smallest most unexpected things
leaving a print on your heart...
Author notes
I was kinda sad that i was only limited 100 words but that's ok. i think it could've been better but please critique me. give me tips on how to make it better.
this poem was exactly 100 words ^.^
this isnt even half of what makes me happy.
A contest entry
- What makes you happy? by Virgoan.
425 points, ended January 9, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I can feel the joy and delight and the smile in your face as I read this piece.
Lines worth remembering:
a shoulder for tears
a hug for no reason
a random dance
a sprinkler, crazy people
In line with the contest, you were able to define your perspective of being happy. I was able to see the glimpse of what you wanted to say. I totally agree that you can tell more than what you wanted.
I suggest that this piece could have been better if the fourth stanza will be replaced. I just think that it doesn't fit the whole piece. Overall, the poem manages to give a heartprint to its readers.
I wish you all the best in the contest and thanks for sharing. Keep writing.
---"I don't know what to say. Do read my mind." VIRGOAN---
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