and so they stood ...
huddled in groups
waving white anything, wanting anything
but what they had, but what they have
wanting something, needing everything
the oppressors ...
still reigning over the oppressed
who remain behind doors and windows
waving unheeded white anything
wanting anything
but what they had, but what they have
needing something, needing more
and so they came ...
huddled in troops
waving white with red and blue,
needing anything
but what they have and why they have it
wanting more, needing more
the saviors?
with tanks and guns and weapons of destruction
destroying the tyrants
appeasing the oppressors,
who cheer the victories
while the true oppressed,
remain behind doors and windows
waving unheeded white anything
wanting anything
but what they had, but what they have
needing something, needing more
and so they ran ...
muddled in groups
waving white nothing, wanting everything
but what they have, but what they will have
the tyrants ...
hiding behind masks
hiding anywhere, hiding everywhere
sliding into oblivion
seeking solace
behind large doors
behind large walls,
behind large egos;
and so they stand ...
strung out in troops
covering the land, lending a hand
the saviors?
of the oppressed
who oppress ~
taking everything for nothing
giving nothing for anything
and terror reigns ...
while the oppressed of the oppressed
wait behind doors
and windows
waving unheeded white anything
wanting anything
but what they had, but what they have
needing something, needing more
the ladies of Iraq ...
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A contest entry
- Countries by unknownpleasure.
301 points, ended January 27, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Innocense Versus Corruption by alexandrathegreat.
500 points, ended July 10, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can we be serious for a moment? by sanch011.
600 points, ended November 17, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Crude Animal: A quote inspired contest. by howlinginpain.
2150 points, ended August 17, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Human rights - and wrongs" by Vera Rich.
700 points, ended December 19, 26 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes that should have been Gold by Mythtress.
1200 points, ended January 6, 2009, 28 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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This is VERY well written. It has powerful imagery. It also has a strong and inspiring message.
As the mother of a United States Marine who served three tours of duty in Iraq, I cannot totally agree with your premise...I do not believe our troops were the saviors for the oppressors.
BUT you wrote your poem well and you have a great way with words and for that I must put you on the finalist list.
Write on, poet.
Blessings,
Myth
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it wasn't clear who this was about until the end, mostly, I don't like that but in this case, I think it makes the poem stronger.
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The last line could also have read the wives and families of damaged Vietnam combat war veterans of this I know for certain because I am one. If only people cared enough to know what happens here and Human Rights. It is simpler and more dramatic to look else where . Thank you for coming to my page and reading I can only guess why you came this poem is lovely. I just always wondered as badly as things were for all of us why no one cared. Oh and when you wave those colors Red ,White and Blue try and remember all the people sent to war who died for you not just Soldiers, the children from birth defects and men who came back with lives and bodies torn apart , familes with PTSD. Too bad your husband was not a vet with all the trimings too bad indead. Write on poet write on.
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Thank you for entering the "Human Rights - and Wrongs" competition. This is an interesting piece - and it is good to receive something of a reasonable length for once. But I do not think the notes are a good idea - adding notes tends to give the impression that you are afraid to let your poem stand on its own. A line or two as an epigraph at the head of the poem is a well-established literary practicde - but notes are - or should be - unnecessary. (Remember, T.S.Eliot's famous notes to The Waste Land were simply added to fill up some blank pages - and in fact explain nothing!)
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The style and the message of this poem make it SO beautiful! Besides the part that was intentionally repetitious, my favorite part was
"the saviors?
of the oppressed
who oppress ~
taking everything for nothing
giving nothing for anything
and terror reigns ..."
It really makes you second-guess the concept of war in general... -
Outstanding (again)
Anything but kindness, compassion, and consideration... -
This has a lot of power. I enjoyed reading this very much. Thank you for entering!
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Joy, I just had to read this poem. Anything about the world and especially what is going on in Iraq intrigues me. I read the "Princess Trilogies" which echoed the words of your verse. Interesting form, and it drove home your point, brilliantly. I'm so happy to see that you finally won an HM. I thought this verse was worthy of so much more. Bravo for speaking out!
Linda
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Outstanding
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Such a wonderful poem here I’ve given you an honorable mention but this poem really deserves more but the choices were so hard to make I hope you understand. Thank you for your wonderful entry.
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The repetition in this added to the power and gave the poem the feeling of a prayer or chant. And you're right - they are oppressed by the ones who say they're oppressed. The men there say they cover women so much in that blinding heat because they respect them more than men in the west do, but I can't help thinking that letting people do, say and wear what they want, and letting them feel the sun on their face once in a while, is more respectful.
I've posted a few pieces on oppression of women in fundamentalist Muslim areas in the Middle East. One is called "Child Bride." Another is called "Islam - Religion of Peace?" The last one got me into some hot water with Muslims who thought I was talking about all Muslims, not just the fanatics. Thought you might like to have a look when you have the time.
Thanks for your comment on my latest one here. I appreciate it.
Mark
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Somber intense piece for chorus/orchestra
I can imagine a Tenor or Soprano singing with a chorus in the background. A haunting choral piece accompanied by heavy-duty low bass violin and other low wind instruments (add a solo flute (piccolo?) for certain moments, with perhaps some dynamic crescendos, and stuns with percussion in places of more intensity. Lines repeating and/or words repeating by chorus. Maybe all too corny, I don't know! Maybe not, if done well by a really good 20-21st century composer. This is not a folk song. It's a serious piece of classical 20th-21st century music. Collaborate with the composer especially re: the repeating of words/phrases and the subtle differences of meaning therein. Just some ideas........
Asymptotesend. -
This is good, great thought, but the reason it didn't win, the repetition started to get annoying toward the end there. I really did like this piece, alot. You should do a revise on it, with more different imagery and less of the same. I guess if thats your style though that's just how you write. Good job, anyways
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Interesting point of view, beautiful style. I like the motif of white. Oppressed is right this is very sad and true, wonder how you got the idea to write this, thank you for your entry
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Excellent!
I wish I could set this to music for you! It certainly deserves it. And it needs to be performed! -Laurie
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if only ...
Good Morning Laurie, I find it so interesting that you would think this is a song ... This poem is written in free verse (meaning it doesn't rhyme like songs do) and yet I have so many other poems, like "YOU", that cry out for blue-sy type chording and music. I do appreciate that you realized that more people need to hear the message of "The Oppressed" though and I thank you for stopping in and leaving your comment! Sincerely, joy
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WOW!!!
Amazing talent!!! -
Awesome!
Joy, This is such a creative piece, I cannot believe your incredible talents!! Such a wonderfully written poem, with terrific visuals, makes my heart ache for these suffering people. Good luck in this contest, this one is a winner!!! ~ Cyn -
I read this as an Easter poem!
The passion of Christ was, if not for all, especially for the suffering masses who we cannot render unto Caesar. Well, not with a Christian guilt-free conscience. Joy, this is not political. If people feel it is, then they have an established point of view divorced from individual people who are caught in horrific strife, be it anywhere. This especially applies to women (and children). Your repetition and symbolism have been set forth in this excellent free verse as an art form. Ron.
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exelent work my friend , if only they made poetry instead of problems what a wonderful world this would be.
i think you meant to put ..destroying the tyrants.
great work
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honey bear
I thank you for stopping by to read and comment and thanks for the editing tip as "Yes" that works much better! joy
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Great
This is a very powerful statement, Joy. ...Very eye-opening. You've managed to take on two subjects, the folly of war and the opression of women in third world countries and handle them both very deftly. And this is a definite departure from your normal style, but I like it. Well done you!
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Yes, well done. The US invasion of Iraq is a war crime and I am happy to see you despise it for what it us. Well written.
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ouch....
first I thought you were talking about doctors, then nurses then I didn't know who you were referring to.... but who had me sitting on the edge of my seat to find out then OMG, shit
dang this says so much about their country
and ours
Tamara
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Awesome!
Joy, this poem just may set them free...
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Excellent
This is a really powerful piece, joy, both as a poem and as an indictment of oppression in its many forms.
The repeated lines add immensely to the impact.
Bill
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Good
The oppressed, are here in Kenya packed like rats in slums. Lol, the oppressors are enjoying day in day out, they have long tummies, they are more than rich, lol, this division, Lord, i am pray that the oppressed one day will raise like tsunami and demand their share of the National cake. This poem has the same sentiments as one i entitled So many times, Check it on my site. Keep this up, i love the way u express your ideas, there is sense and maturity. Keep this up, One thing for use, the oppressed are so many in Africa, will tell u more,
Good day poet
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Musimwa,
Thanks for your support and for enlightening me on the situations where you are! There are so many areas that need attention and hopefully all poets will address them inbetween their other ponderings and muses. There's power in the words of the people! Peace to you, joy
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I had a feeling from the start that this was a political statement.. ie... about Iraq. I do agree with this assessment of the situation over there. In my opinion the only thing we liberated in Iraq was the people from their wealth. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
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Leo,
Thanks for stopping by and commenting and you are right with what was liberated! It's not over until .... (you know the rest ) joy
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wow!!
such power, i enjoy powerful reads like this
well done
keep u the awesome work
love miss coop
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Hi, so true, we might like to kid ourselves we went in to save them, but there is an old saying,"unto yourself be true" we went in for the oil, the powers that be in their ivory towers say say what they want, you can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time,but you can't fool all of the people all of the time. good write I could hear the bitterness you feel in your words, all the best in the comp, hope this does well, Di
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masterblaster!
Thanks for leaving your comments and thoughts and it's not so much a bitterness but more so a feeling of great sympathy for the ladies, who have no say in it all and must wait until the dust settles and then still be oppressed by those that don't look out for "their" interests! As a woman in some countries "you are entitled to your opinion - you're just not entitled to voice it!" I could never imagine living like this! peace be with you Di, joy
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Powerful stuff Joy. A copy to Bush might be appropriate and a carbon copy to Blair!
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