Bleed your soul in ink and gold
So someone else might see
Right throught the cryptic little word games
A letter to man in a godless world
Omnipresent technology
Will you save us sinners now?
Like science saves me
Yet betrays me
Reducing me to formulaic simplicity
But there's no formula for this
Waking into darkness
Falling into rage
These words can't heal
As i purge to feel
All that science numbs
when i let it
Will purple pills twice a day,
Make me human once again?
Or will they make me less than man
Medicated vail to blind me
Set me free?
Align me?
What?
There are no answers here
Within - Without
Just emptiness either way
And so i turn you away
To see if you'll follow
Knowing you won't
Lines of communication lay silent
Mimicry
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This poem was really disoriented, which added to it immensely. I also like the simple background. It complements the poem on a deeper level.
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Very nice flow. It sounds like this was witten after a fight but I cant be sure. Feeling at odds with the world and your self is never a fun experaince and I think that this pice realy expressed that quite well.
Suggestion
My only suggestion is that your Cappitolize all your I's
~
Johnathan
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lol cheers for the comment. however... regarding the i's ummm no. I don't spell my name with a capital either unless it's at the start of a sentence. Kinda like the feminists that spell the word woman differently. Which i not actually a fan of, but yeah. It's done on purpose. It's like that in all my stuff. I think?
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