. what's in a name? .

what you call someone --
does it define them?
is it who they are?
sometimes,
it seems
that it is..

multiple personalities
for multiple
nicknames..
they can't
even
tell the
difference..
because
the face
never changes..

'toast'..
the loveable,
kissable,
cuddly,
girl that you
just can't
get mad at..
the girl
who's nice
to EVERYONE,
even if she doesn't
like them..
who lets people
use her
and walk on her..
she can't get
embarassed..
she is only scared
of spiders..
and scorpions..
anything
that could sting..
she isn't scared
to be
rambunctious
or
'out there'..
she giggles
in the cutest
way..
talks to her boyfriend
in a baby voice..
this is 'toast'..
this is me..

'demitri'..
once thought to be
just a prank
turns out
to be
the boy living
inside..
comes out
when most guys would..
dominating..
dirty talking..
no limits..
however,
whenever,
wherever --
he wants it..
hard
and rough
and dirty..
never thinking
about the other
partner..
sexy..
intimidating..
he'll take it
no matter
how much
you say.. 'no..'
this is 'demitri'..
this is me..

'stephanie'..
a shy girl..
trusts everyone
until they prove
untrustworthy..
she likes
to stay at home..
waiting for
inspiration
for her next work
of art
or writing..
she is smart
and knows it..
she thinks
all of the time..
wonders
about different worlds..
different feelings..
love..
life..
marriage..
death..
thinking..
all of the time..
wishing to be
more like toast..
not so scared
of everything..
she has ambition..
she goes on rants
that no one
seems to listen to..
this is 'stephanie'..
this is me..

these three
define me
as much
as i wish
them
not to..
they each come out
at different times,
with each
different thing
that i do..

i am
stephanie,
but
no one seems
to know me
by that
anymore..
'toast'
is more fun
than
all of the others;
'demitri'
is an
easy whore..

why do i
have so many
'people'
to define me?
i know
that one
of these characters
is me..
but which one?
toast
seems to be
so widely
accepted..
stephanie
is a distant
past..
demitri,
never to be known
by anyone
except the person
i love..



so what

should my name

be?