An average-sized home
Really tiny for some
But it’s really a beauty
Not because it’s tiny
But because it’s a symbol of hope
Built by an innocent child
Hoping for a home
Hoping for a family to be by his side.
He built this home to show what he feels
Or simply to show that he can feel!
This house model
I know it’s just simple
But it is more than what you see
Someone saw it too
And that someone who saw it,
adopted him so now he's happy!
Now, he has a family.
Author notes
Commenters, when you make a review don't use the author's name because the judge doesn't want to know 'till after the trophies are mailed
A contest entry
- Word Designs Start with LEGOS by bird at rose.
700 points, ended January 23, 2007, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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langya..ang galing...very deep yung thought niya tapos talagang emotional..parang yung birthday poem mo rin dati..hehe..pero seryoso, great job!
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Coming back
Hello, your little write is dear to me. Last time I left you a comment, I forgot to tell you about a grammar problem I saw at "Adopted him so now his happy!" It should be edited easily! I'm so sorry I didn't add that to the rules, but now I'm catching on that I should've. I see the dark blue link color wasn't changed, but I'm guessing that you think that that way people won't see the name to use in their comments. Thank you anyway for putting in your author's notes what I had asked. Leave the blue link if you want to, it is fine considering that it helps to not remind the commentor of who the author is.
Don't reply, nor Instant Message me, just as you understand others aren't suppose to say your name either.
Enjoy!,
SplishSP -
With the entries so far, your title is the Gold winner and that is why I came to you first!
I can feel the sadness blended with happiness as well in this poem. I did notice six sets of variety rhyming: visual, end, beginning and middle rhyming. I enjoyed your different ways to rhyme. However, I think you forgot to put in your author's notes to not have your name used in other people's comments, though I was disciplined to not look at them, so I won't remove your entry, especially since that request wasn't a rule. Also if you would, please edit the dark blue link color to a little lighter one as it is a tich hard to read. Otherwise, good choices!
But, before finding that out, "An average-sized home" was great in the sense that it is proportional for LEGO'S, but it's way too "tiny for" people to be comfortable in. Then, I read that it was created by someone who was almost like sending a "membership drive" letter for somebody to care for the helpless child. Boy, that makes me gain another thought that the creation was not miniature, but it was reduced in that there wasn't anybody to use that extra space; nobody that can thank him for his hard work of building the hope for it. So "really tiny for some" is him in this case because he's ready to move in the real one, but he can't so far.
Wowwww. I like "I know it’s just simple" because he wants life with him, not just knowing about the person that started LEGOS. It is partly sad when I found out that he got adopted instead of his parents staying with him, but I am joining the grinning that at least he's supported now.
I wasn't expecting a deep poem for a LEGO contest, this is great!
Thank you for entering, yours was my special first entry,
SplishSplashPencil- the judge
p.s. don't reply until after the contest is over, because I'm not gold to make it not anonymous. Because you don't have freedom to comment back to me, if you think any of my opinions are wrong, you are allowed to work on your poem once more to improve them... Otherwise I hope I took it wonderfully. Thank you once more... -
wonderfull
so much more to a building than bricks they say and how this write proves that saying,good luck in the contest withthis write that reaches out and touches the heart
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