Loneliness

The problem or the symptom?
I'm not quite aware.
So tired of being random.
Why is it now that I care?

I used to be spontaneous
Could keep up and was free.



my poetry mood is sucky. i've just been sucky at it for a while now. why? oh why? and why do i feel great in teh summer and slowly lose myself during the rest of the year? I'm at a new low every night. I need sun and warmth. I need friendship and fun. I miss me. Where have I gone? The night is victimizing me. Becoming so emo it disgusts me. I miss me. Where have I gone? I just want to cry, and to have everything be better. Life doesn't work like that. I'm tired of being lonely. I had a stupid and selfish notion today. I just wanted to date someone to have someone. That would be cruel. And I am not ready. I'm too immature. I just want a chance at something light. A relationship not made to last, but just for fun and trust. To have a good time and make good memories. No regrets. I just need to heal. To grow. To heal from what? Life I suppose, everyday drags me farther down and yet life goes on telling me that it is better. Different, but perhaps not better. Someone fix me. Someone rescue me. I'm clinging on for dear happiness. The night is swallowing me. Sleep urges me to bed. Good night. Sleep is the cure-all. Day is the time to be. Night is the time to sleep. Farewell. Farewell.