Seducing and secreting from your mind
If I pry and you scream, what shall I find
All things that make the public eyes sore
My ears are ringing for whimpering whores
Black and widened, I see inside your eyes
Betrayal beckons, it saddens the sight
I see inside you, I listen to lies
You're falling quick love, you're losing the fight
Your wrists are slit, veins are bleeding, pulse gone
Eyes lined by dark circles, skin pale as snow
Writing, whispering, so sweetly, a song
Dive into death, hold your breath and let's go
Eyes aren't beautiful, they're ugly as hell
Your voice hurts my ears, a shrill sounding bell
Cut them out, fathoms of flesh you once grew
Scared of your scars, the secrets you once knew
Tears will plummet, seeping into the grave
Your howls of agony lull me to sleep
Your head splits revealing demons you gave
Wishing wicked souls to die, I will weep
Clouds so becoming when upon your face
Bringing to my canvas a happy smile
Settle down to the dust love, find your place
Behind my stitched eyes the visions are vile
Sleep succumbs to those contorted with pain
Writhing and frothing, but it's all in vain
Crying for loves lost to hear what you've screeched
Bones broke and mind snapped, your soul has been breached
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Nice poem. A lot of thought went into this one. Great Job! I like the visuals. Also the flow throught the whole poem.
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Excellent write!
Wow. The first time I read this I wasn't sure what I thought. Then I read it again and I realized that it is fucking awesome. I would list some the lines I like best, but then I'd have to list about half of your poem. Kudos to you!
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very good poem and very deep in dark emotion. Very nice flow through out and makes u see inside the eyes of the person saying this.
well done
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7 outta 10
line 11 "writing" (writhing) 'whithering' would work
wonders when writing wounds unless someone wrote a whisper, or maybe not (writing just throws it in confusion as it comes off 'skin pale as snow/ writing???), ' also thought "seein' thru dead eyes" might be a better title. I liked this piece but the length stole some of its punch, its dark power, almost like there's two pieces here,
you might consider a part one/part two, from Tears will plummet/... let me know what you think c opus
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i thought this was very good...the form is good and it creates a good flow...dive into death-hold your breathe and lets go...i love that ...great job!
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Line one - I think you want secreting and line twenty seven, there is no "t" in screeched.
Extremely dark, "stitched eyes" fabulous visual!
A good flow, even but also rather fast and vivid when I reda it aloud.
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