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Sunrise

A beautiful rose sunrise
painted the morning sky
Past life memory
resurrected in my mind

memories are momentary sketches
  in my mind
just like the beautiful
  rose sunrise
that paints the morning sky.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • piccola gold member
    October 12
    Edit | Reply
    nivr, thank you for entering

  • NoWorldforTomorrow
    August 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i agree with ilovethomix, i like this one. its short and sweet, yet still strong and effective. good write, good luck in the contest.


  • Death of the Author gold member
    August 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very nice, short and sweet and quite simple. The rhymes are nice and tight - the last two lines I think work best x take care and good luck! x


  • Rowan gold member
    January 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A very good effort for this contest; momentary was spelled wrong though. Regardless, an excellent attempt!
    Thank you for entering this!


  • mysticstorm gold member
    January 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice job! Nicely lay out and comparison metaphor. I would suggest you drop the lind "sunrise and life", it is not needed, the others explain the comparison in more of a poetic way without it.
    Just a thought.
    Good work!

  • Sonrio
    January 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    short and sweet. I liked it! I especially liked the way you managed to tie the two together through the last two lines, and the impression of the two you ended with "both momentary sketches". How true is that? it is completely relateable and beautiful. you did a wonderful job on this, keep up the good work!
1 - 6 of 6