My breath enfolded by the mists that float on twilight's chill,
I wake to velvet crimsons deep'ning into violet hues
that soften my harsh gaze. The cool caress that wakes my will
makes pebbles in my flesh and takes my mood to deeper blues
in this pale moonglow. Shaking off, at last, the reverie
that trapped me, like a web, and held me staring, nightspellbound
beneath this fragile Nightshade that's my daybed's canopy
I stir and move across the verdure of my deep surround.
My steps into black shadows veer as Elder Trees arise
about my path. Outside, the silver gleams on points of dew
collecting as pale sapphires (that their petal-hosts will prize
until the sunrise). Onward--scents of lavender and rue
still beckon to my senses. Here! The dance is nigh begun!
The Folk of Mist and Night hold court amid the Brothers Eild
who, somber in their silence, watch as sportive music's spun
on instruments that mortal man may never hear nor wield!
Too short, the night! Too soon the sky shifts onto pearly gray!
Too quickly does my drowse enfold and speed me to my bed!
Too soft, my pillow; dreams too fleet for thought to long abay...
the moss beneath the Nightshade murmurs sweet beneath my head
until the morrow's eve.
A contest entry
- Shades of Night (CONTEST) by Touchof1der.
600 points, ended February 5, 2007, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Well deserving of the Gold! It is rich with color and alive with fantasy images.
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we prefer to be called ' little people ' not "wee folk" or whatever rumsfeild told you on st pattys day. another masterpole ericlee+the D, hahah. fuck... hahaha. i much enjoy the imagery, it makes me remember why i love to read. Best wishes to you and your wife and family eric.
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This is beautiful! I felt so calm and peaceful when I read it. This is definately one of my favorites. I even started to feel a little sleepy! I absolutely loved it. Also, the way you wrote it reminded me of some Celtic poetry I once read. And the title - wow...
Wonderful write - as always.
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beautiful...
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:-)
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This poem works so well because it is tightly structured which allows the greatest of ease and enjoyment to be savored line after line. The first three lines so thoroughly seduces the reader in rapt attention that one cannot help but continue. I also enjoyed that soft aura of romance that encircles this. It's neither bold, nor garish... it just is. This is very nice work. Thank you for entering the contest and goold luck!
♥ Touchof1der
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This is so enchanting! a delightful piece of work so full of imagery. Rhyme is good allowing your poem to flow beautifully, making for an excellent read, well done.
~Katie~
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Technically and aesthetically beautiful
You are such a complex writer, Eric, never fail to surprise and amaze. This one is a lesson in rhyme , metre, enjambment ( oh so difficult for me to learn, effective enjambment). It is also a lesson in how to write in 'poetic' language on a 'Romantic' subject without sounding like a pastiche of the PRB or a refugee from Elizabethan England.
(got called away, came back to add)
This is how rhyming verse should be- the reader does not notice the end rhyme and internal rhymes except as pleasing sonics to enhance the story and the mood.
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BIG smile!
I love it when it works, Stef!
I especially love an audience who knows about enjambment and can appreciate the difficulty of making it work...balancing it against the endstops so the poem keeps its flow, allows breathing room AND still avoids the choppy feel you get when every line is endstopped.
That's the best I get, is a kudo from someone who knows! Thanks!
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'Shaking off, at last, the reverie
that trapped me, like a web, and held me staring,' This is good. I reckon I can learn a lot from reading your poems. I hope so anyways.
The rhyme was different.. and better than that same-old, same-old..
It was too deep for me understand really.. if I'm honest.
It's a shame you don't believe in God. You're already wise.
skitza
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