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Exist or Live

Tell me not that life came and went
For dead is life that exists.
Life is too precious to be spent
Then cast into the abyss.

Dry grass burned and wasted away,
Blown in the breeze 'til it rests,
Dead flesh left alone to decay,
No final words or requests.

Ashes to ashes; dust to dust,
Blood that never burns with fire,
Watered pipes that corrode and rust,
Flowing without much desire.

Tell me of life burned by passion,
For full is life that takes risks,
Driven by love and compassion
To gambol, frolic and frisk.

Watered ground yields fruit in season.
A trampled seed struggles to rise.
Life will endure with a reason.
So run your race to win the prize!

Breath to breath; arousal to desire,
Blood that boils with heat will thrive
Surge forward, soar ever higher!
Choose not to exist but to live!

Author notes

Inspired by A Psalm of Life by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/4413-Henry-Wadsworth-Longfellow-A-Psalm-of-Life

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1 - 10 of 10

  • BrightEyes-
    January 19, 2007
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    A lovely message, to exist or live. You seem to be very inspired by this. A lovely write. I enjoyed your rhyming, which was subtle in it's execution and I barely noticed at first. It reads very easily and smoothly. Thanks for sharing.

    -mandy

  • Aurora Calliope
    January 19, 2007

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    Great poem. Hard to read with the sharply contrasting backgrounds chosen however (I would suggest toning them down slightly) and good sentiments behind the work as well. It is good advice, to not only exist but to live. Far to often, or hesitance to take chances and attempt to better ourselves costs us valuble opprotunities. Anyways, I liked your use of language, and allso the form that you used in your poem, the structure, rhythm and rhyme here expressed was an enjoyable change from the monotonous free form chaos that most people seem to prefer these days (Clearly, said form, is my least favorite) again, good work anyways, and again... GOOD LORD! IT BURNS! MY EYES! MY EYES!

  • Poetdontknowit
    January 19, 2007

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    SWEET!

    I CHOOSE NOT TO EXIST, BUT LIVE! HOW BOUT YOU? I HAD A BALL READING THIS ONE. IT'S FINE WORK!
    KEEP ON PENNING
    POETDONTKNOWIT

  • Cannonsfire gold member
    January 19, 2007
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    Life and parable of not merely existing but truly living, taking each day and finding a moment that has brilliant clarity in it. Well it's not Longfellow but I can see the creativity you drew from his words, you have modernised it and made it a psalm for today.

    . Rewarded 4

  • maheo
    January 18, 2007

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    This piece has an oddly soothing rythm on such a modern subject...it almost reads as a warped lullaby..Inspiration to be had if taken and a nice write

  • Flaming Rose
    January 18, 2007

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    Lovely, Lovey, Lovey

    Truly inspiring. A poem of all times. I search through many poems to find one I would really like reading, but this one I enjoy reading very much. I love reading old poetry because they stood the test of time and I am seldom let down. Yours I believe can last through the test of time.
    I appreciate the good work in this read. You write very well.

    . Rewarded 4


  • cherche -d -ame gold member
    January 18, 2007

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    there is definitely a lot of inspiration in this, a message to live beyond existing which your title suggests. My very favorite stanza and the one that I believe lent the most strength to this is the fourth one....it sums it up greatly and I wonder if it would not be a great closing stanza as well. I tried reading it aloud that way and it seemed to work. Thanks for sharing your words,
    reenie

    . Rewarded 4


  • JadedKnight
    January 18, 2007
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    Excellent

    Very well written, I really enjoyed it. Lovely imagery and a captivating read. Well done!


  • DisEnchantedFantasy
    January 17, 2007

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    Very good advise...Exist or Live...there is definently a difference in the two. I like your poem, it was very well thought out. Good Job and Keep it up!


    ~Longing To Be Loved..."Kristen"
1 - 10 of 10