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~Cry Not, I'm Here~

Cry not
for I am here,
I'm walking beside you.
I am sunshine that lights your way.
I am the daydreams of bright summer skies.
I am the morning痴 dewy kiss.
When loneliness finds you,
know that I知 here.
Cry not.


I知 here
holding your hand,
drying your tears of pain.
I知 the warm breeze upon your face,
as you lay under the weeping willow.
I am the birds that sing to you.
I am their song of love.
I am not gone,
I知 here.


Cry not
for things unsaid,
for you haven稚 lost me.
I am always here above you.
I am the raindrops that fall so gently,
the sweet smell of blooming flowers.
I am the air you breathe.
I知 your angel.
Cry not.

Author notes

Triple Rictameter

Dedicated to my friend, Gary aka Getsbetter. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
*~*

You have my permission to copy, print, or anything else to please see that these thoughts are sent along to Marilyn's family with my deepest sympathy.

-Ink Artist-

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Comments

1 - 99 of 118     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • Tears from within
    June 17, 2007
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    Wow this is so beautiful and heartwrenching, your poem made my heart skip a beat it is so beautiful and I know that Billy Joe will love it! I know that I feel like my heart has sunk wonderful write. Thank you so much for entering my conest and Good Luck!


  • Khadidja the Wise
    June 4, 2007

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    I can see that this poem has won a lot of awards already and I can only add to it. This is very touching and comforting, as well as being a wonderful poem when it comes to rhythm and flow.
    Thank you so much for entering this in my contest.


  • Fantasy dream
    April 28, 2007

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    You are so kind to share this...

    This poem is absolutely beautiful, both in thoughts and presentation. Thank you for sending this lovely comfort poem to us!

  • exoticbeaches
    April 26, 2007
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    Oh wow. I am speachless. Thanks so much for the comforting words. Exquisitely written. Patti

  • Quixotically Yours
    April 17, 2007

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    Wow, this was in a lot of contests. Congratulations on your many awards for this; it was obviously expertly penned. I wasn't moved to tears, but it certainly made me smile. I only have a few suggestions, because this was such a gorgeous write, and the beautiful background is distracting me.

    I noticed you used some contractions (is that the correct term? They need to do a better job teaching grammar in schools...) throughout the poem. An occasional "I'm" or "haven't" or anything of the sort doesn't hurt, but I personally feel that too many take away from the potential eloquency of the poem, like profanity or slang. An example: "Cry not/ for I am here,/ I'm walking beside you." Because you set it up with something so formal as "for...etc." in the previous line, the sudden introduction of something like "I'm" is, poetically speaking, ugly. Later in your poem, when you write "When loneliness finds you,/ know that I'm here." This isn't as formal; it's genuine, real, and passionate to the speaker, and therefore the contraction (conjunction?) is both audiably and aesthetically pleasing.

    Aside from that, and a few punctuation suggestions I could make to ensure the poem runs as smoothly as possible, there isn't much I can say; this was a truly beautiful poem, worthy of the awards it's been previously given. Whether you take my advice or not, it will stay as poignant as it is now, so pat yourself on the back. Thanks for entering, and good luck!

  • WolfHeart silver member
    April 16, 2007

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    Brilliant

    This has me in tears. It is so poignant and filled with love. You have reached out and touched hearts with this one. Your form and structure is perfect, but oh, the beauty of your soul that cries from these pages!!

    love - Auntie Wolfie (your biggest fan)

  • Heavenly Angel
    April 14, 2007

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    Truly beautiful
    I really don't have many words to share to convey the depth of emotion within my heart right now but know this DID touch something deep within...
    All the best to you

  • Lady-Pegasus
    April 2, 2007

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    Thank you for your contest submission as well as for the requested permission. This is a wonderful piece for this contest, I thank you. It is, as always, a well written rictameter chain that flows so beautifully and meaningfully. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *

  • FindingFate
    April 2, 2007
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    This is pretty and so kind of you.


  • Heavens Child
    March 31, 2007

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    This is such a beautiful poem, the words are so powerful. My cousin and I used to spend many times together sitting under the weeping willow tree in our yard. Thank you for this entry.

  • maa gold member
    March 29, 2007

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    how beautiful and heartfelt are your gentle words of consolation ...
    like a soothing balm ...

    maa


  • Huntress silver member
    March 28, 2007

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    I think our loved ones are always with us, in every breath, every thought every beautiful thing. Wonderful poem. Very touching


  • honey bear
    March 28, 2007
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    this lightens my heart and i hope it does the same for many more that read it


  • Shacadia Shay
    March 24, 2007

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    this a nice. i'm sorry bout your friends mom. best of luck in my contest.
    --Blessed be--
    Dark Princess Vampire

  • debilynn gold member
    March 22, 2007

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    this is beautiful! i love the message it conveys. i also like the shape or look to it and the background. keep writing poet! God bless you always


    • -Ink Artist-
      March 24, 2007
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      Thanks for the lovely comment, debilynn! Much appreciated! I love how triple rictameters look on the page!


      ~Lori

  • aGent Lemon
    March 20, 2007

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    Thank you very much for entering this contest. I may add much more of a comment later on since there are so many other submissions.


    You may want to keep in mind that I will try to open more of the same contests one after another if I can earn enough feedback to do so which I must say would be truly appreciated. Altogether, I hope this will also give everybody a glimpse at one of you're favorite accomplishments which hopefully in turn inspire them to look at what else you've got.

  • ObliviousReality
    March 18, 2007

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    Very nice. Lovely imagery//word use. And how you opened it "Cry not for I am here..." Then end the first stanza with "know that I'm here. Cry not." A good form. Cheerful^-^ And very nice. Love the words you use. Put a smile on my face with the ending stanza. Especially the "I'm your angel. Cry not." Did a wonderful job on this. Practically had me in tears.

    • -Ink Artist-
      March 24, 2007
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      Thanks so much EternallyDarkened! Your beautiful comment on this piece is greatly appreciated. Glad you enjoyed the read>


      ~Lori

  • elemental angel
    March 15, 2007

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    This is so touching, I'm moved to tears. So sad it's beautiful full of hope. Wonderful write. Anyone who has lost someone will be able to relate to this.
    Bravo


    • -Ink Artist-
      March 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for your beautiful comment, Poetesse! It means a lot!


      ~Lori

  • sprack44
    March 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Cry not
    for things unsaid,
    for you haven’t lost me.
    I am always here above you.
    I am the raindrops that fall so gently,
    the sweet smell of blooming flowers.
    I am the air you breathe.
    I’m your angel.
    Cry not.

    I love the way this poem looks, I love the way you presented it. awesome job, and thank you for entering you truly did make me feel better


    • -Ink Artist-
      March 24, 2007
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      Thanks so much for the lovely comment, sprack! Much appreciated! Triple rictameters do look so beautiful on the page!


      ~Lori

  • Minorchar
    March 12, 2007
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    Beautiful piece. What else can I say? It kinda left me speechless.

  • Blissful Melody
    March 11, 2007

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    Wow

    Tears are starting to form as I read this. It's amazingly touching, gently carressing a part of one's heart that is often neglected. This is wonderfully beautiful. Great write!!!


    • -Ink Artist-
      March 11, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Princess for the wonderful comment! It is very much appreciated. I'm pleased to know that this piece has touched you.


      ~Lori
  • Brandon Ashley
    March 10, 2007
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    great write thanks for entering

  • ICOMMANDyou2boogie
    March 9, 2007
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    Beautiful. Almost made me cry. I had an overwhelming feeling of love when I read this. Very deep...


    • -Ink Artist-
      March 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the wonderful comment on this triple rictameter, boogie! Much appreciated!


      ~Lori
  • deleteit
    March 8, 2007

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    I love this style of writing. To read this is...it is like a warming embrace of comfort for loved ones gone. Absolute beauty in style and in meaning

    • -Ink Artist-
      March 8, 2007
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      Thanks for the lovely comment on this piece, Tempest Rose! It is greatly appreciated! I'm pleased that you enjoyed the read.


      ~Lori

  • CitrineSunrise
    March 6, 2007

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    This is such a beautiful way to remember a loved one. The final episode of Prime Suspect with Helen Mirren featured a eulogy of this nature and it brought me to tears. Your poem did also. It is such a comforting thought to realize that someone is with you always, in every breath you take.

    • -Ink Artist-
      March 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much, peliroja! Your wonderful comment warmed my heart and made me smile. Much appreciated, my friend!


      ~Lori

  • ronnica
    March 6, 2007
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    Oh So soft and caressing reading, another one well done Lori

    Ronn

  • SurelyWritten
    March 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Loriii! Stop getting so good.. I love this style, I think your talent compliments it so well. And I adore the background and picture. They're perfect matches for the peacefullness and hope within this write.

    I adore it Lori-

    S

    • -Ink Artist-
      March 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Shirl! I appreciate your lovely comment. When are you going to give rictameter a try again??


      ~Lori

  • Abstract Muse silver member
    March 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is truly beautiful, in many ways.

    For one, it can be taken as spiritual, relating to god; or personal, relating to a lost one who remains alive in your heart. I can relate to it in the second way because it reminds me of someone I lost and can still feel there.

    The thoughts themselves are beautiful, regardless of their actual meaning.

    The form itself is visually artistic as well. I could never pull that off in written form, which makes me admire it even more, cause I'm more an artist than a writer, though they are both artistic forms.

    This is a wonderful poem all around!

    ~Greg~

    • -Ink Artist-
      March 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the beautiful comment on this piece, Greg! It is greatly appreciated! I'm happy to hear you enjoyed the read.


      ~Lori

  • February Moon gold member
    March 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful. You left me breathless after reading this. I also admire your talent for writing form poetry. I'm too impatient do it, so I always appreciate poets that can. Great job on this!
    Chelsea


    • -Ink Artist-
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks once again, Chelsea, for another lovely comment! I truly appreciate you taking time to read my work. These triple rics can become quite addicting once you start writing!


      ~Lori

  • RatherImaginative silver member
    March 6, 2007

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    Beautiful

    A lovely poem! I liked how your poem was visually artistic along with keeping to a good flow. I've never attempted that style before. After reading your poem, I might just give it a shot!

    • -Ink Artist-
      March 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the wonderful comment, RatherImaginative! It is greatly appreciated! As I've said to others, I never attempted writing rictameter until joining AP but now I'm hopelessly addicted to the challenge!


      ~Lori

  • penciledlives
    March 6, 2007

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    I've once tried to write a rictameter, but failed miserably. And here you are, with a triple rictameter! I wish I could write one that flows as smooth as this one.

    The poem gave me such a comforting feeling...it's great knowing that someone's actually there for you. I'm sure your friend felt that way after reading your poem.


    • -Ink Artist-
      March 6, 2007
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      Thanks for the great comment, penciled! Much appreciated! I just started writing rictameter since joining AP and I've come to love the challenge of writing in this form.


      ~Lori

  • Tangled Angle
    March 5, 2007
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    Hell Yes


  • Ryno
    March 5, 2007
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    Yes


  • Princessdove
    February 21, 2007

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    Excellent poem. I really liked this. It made me feel comforted and not alone. You write beautifuly. Your writing inspires me to be a better myself. Great job!


    • -Ink Artist-
      March 6, 2007
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      Thank you for the lovely comment on this piece, Princessdove! It is greatly appreciated!


      ~Lori

  • My Darkness
    February 21, 2007

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    won a few things for this have ya? ...i can see why this is really beautiful and written very well! thank you for sharing and keep on writing!

    • -Ink Artist-
      March 6, 2007
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      Thanks for the great comment on this piece, Darkness! It is very much appreciated!


      ~Lori

  • Puppydog gold member
    February 17, 2007

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    INSPIRING AND TOUCHING!

    I am sure your beautiful and touching words will bring a lot of joy and happiness to him Lori.


    • -Ink Artist-
      February 21, 2007
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      Thanks so much for the lovely comment on this triple rictameter, Kevin!


      ~Lori

      • Puppydog gold member
        February 21, 2007
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        DEAR LORI

        You are always so very welcome dear friend, this one is so heart-felt, I am sure he will be so happy as he read this.

  • poet2angels
    February 16, 2007

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    love it!

    Beautiful form and an excellent job you have done on this poem!
    Perfect emotion , flow and feel to this...Scores big points with his judge
    Best of luck!
    Lynda


    • -Ink Artist-
      February 17, 2007
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      Thanks so much for the lovely comment on this triple rictameter, Lynda! I greatly appreciate it! So pleased that you enjoyed this write!


      ~Lori

  • Heavenly Angel
    February 16, 2007
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    Beautifully written! This is a touching and very poignant piece! Much enjoyed! Thank you for sharing and for being a part of the contest!

    • -Ink Artist-
      February 16, 2007
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      Thanks so much, Heavenly Angel! Your lovely comment is truly appreciated!


      ~Lori

  • Closetpoet1971 gold member
    February 8, 2007

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    Simply amazing~~

    Lori,
    This is such a beautiful piece of work!! Your words comfort the reader regardless the line... you touched my heart and soul with this piece!! This piece is by far one of my favorite of your works!! Thank you for sharing!!

    Love ya Sis!!
    Shannon


    • -Ink Artist-
      February 10, 2007
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      Thanks so much Sis! This was written for Gary (getsbetter) and the thoughts are close to my heart since the death of son-in-law is still such a fresh wound to my heart. Thanks for your beautiful words! Love Ya!


      ~Lori

  • bananasfoster42
    February 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    absolutely beautiful. thanks for this wonderful entry

    • -Ink Artist-
      February 21, 2007
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      Thanks for your wonderful comment, bananasfoster! Much appreciated! Thanks for the HM in your contest!


      ~Lori

  • Celticmoon gold member
    February 3, 2007
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    thank you for entering!

    over all score is a 5

  • inaliel
    January 31, 2007

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    Beautiful.. this eases the pain and the grief for those who have loss someone dear..
    This is the kind of poem that you keep by your side to make you feel better day by day..
    A beautiful keepsake from a beautiful mind.. Thank you for sharing this to me tonight..
    and thank you for entering my contest..
    Have a wonderful day ..

    • -Ink Artist-
      January 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much, Inaliel! I truly appreciate your wonderful comment on this piece!

      ~Lori

  • -LilacThOughts-
    January 31, 2007

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    Excellent...

    Such a kind and thoughtful write, presented so beautifully... I can imagine Gary finding great comfort from these beautiful poetic lines, that have spilled from your creative pen... it takes my breath away, with perfect flow, aliteration and warm and tender imagery

    Love and smiles
    ~Lilac


    • -Ink Artist-
      January 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much, Lilac, for your sweet comment on this piece! It is greatly appreciated.

      ~Lori

  • poetryality silver member
    January 30, 2007

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    BEAUTIFUL!

    This is exceptional! I love the serenity in these words. You have made good use of this form with this tender poem. I have yet to look but I know Gary loved this. Everything works here. The entire presentation is filled with love and spirituality. This is very beautiful!


    Blessings & Love ♥

    Renee


    • -Ink Artist-
      January 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the wonderful comment on this triple rictameter, Renee! You're sweet words are truly appreciated, my friend!


      ~Lori

  • Samplette gold member
    January 30, 2007