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Deceptive Dragon

Missing image
The land was scorched and dry
The dragon reeked havoc for years,
The unchallenged ruler of the sky
Growing stronger by the people's fears.
All dreaded that they would die
Crying and wailing with many tears.
Fear and deception were his greatest allies.
He promised life to those who would yield.
People forgot the truth and believed his lies.
They forsook their sword and shield.
Their values they began to compromise
Thinking by this they would be healed.
Dragon attacks
Fire continued to consume and  burn
Laying to waste land and scorching skin.
Still the people would not learn.
Hope remained buried within.
From wickedness they would not turn
But chose to embrace depravity and sin.
One warrior decided he would take a stand
He saw through the lies and deception.
He knew truth would save the land.
He possessed both strength and perception
But tried in vain to get others to understand.
So he knew he alone must bring redemption.
He set out to find the dragon's lair.
Armed only with truth, resolve and belief
He mounted his valiant mare.
The people gasped in disbelief.
Against all their taunts of despair
He galloped away like a fleeing thief.
The dragon spied him drawing near.
He saw the courage in the warrior's eyes.
This man will not be defeated by fear,
So the dragon began to plot and devise.
He must whisper pleasure in his ear
And deceive him with both fear and lies.
dragon treasures
“See all the riches stored in my cave
These can be yours and more
Or would you rather rest in a grave?
Upon my wings you can soar.
You will not be my slave
Let us make peace and end the war.”
“I can grant your every desire.
Concede. You cannot win.
Bow or you shall burn by fire.
Flames will consume your skin
Until you slowly retire
To the graves of your kin.”
“You cannot deceive me with pleasure
I am aware of the truth and disbelieve your lies
I do not want any of your treasure
I will put an end to my people's cries
Love and grace are beyond measure
Together they will utterly destroy your lies.”
“I do not fear death!
I am not afraid
Of your fiery breath!
Should my flesh be decayed
Or my body burned to death
My soul will never fade!”
Fire dragon
As fire burned the warrior's skin
His body was tormented by pain.
He refused to bow and give in.
From heaven it began to rain
Cleansing the earth of its sin.
The dragon's power began to wane.
People were astonished and stood in dismay.
They began to hope that they would persevere
For the warrior was victorious that day.
Perfect love began to cast out fear.
The dragons lies lost their power to sway.
Truth grew stronger year after year.

Author notes

Genre: Fantasy
Movie: Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King
Quote: Aragorn: I do not fear death.
"Hurray! A cry for victory!"

In a list

A contest entry

Did it keep you attention? Did it flow? Did you like the story?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 19 of 19
  • michellemybelle gold member
    May 14

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    Wonderful images and story of temptation vs truth. Very well told story, full of fire.
    Well deserved gold my friend.
    blessings,
    Michelle


    • melphleg gold member
      May 14
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading THIS poem. I am proud of this one. As you can see I've entered it in a few contests. I love the allegory. I'm am so thrilled that you read this even if by mistake. I appreciate it very much.
  • TabbyJoy
    April 2

    Edit | Reply
    Reminded me of the temptation of Christ, in some ways. Los of Biblical allusion. Thanks for the entry.

  • daviscth silver member
    February 25

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    I loved that movie! Your poem and the pictures are wonderful. Thanks so much for posting this in my contest and all the best to you at judging, Cathy

  • creationsfromheart silver member
    December 9, 2007
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    Awsome

    story in poem love it awsome write very worthy of gold


    • melphleg gold member
      December 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Wow, I appreciate the read and the nice comment. Is it worthy of publication?

  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    November 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    excellent~

    Congrats on the Gold Trophy
    You go my friend..this had me glued to my seat from the start to the finish...
    Whew what a story....You should find some magazine to submit this one too...it would surely sell...
    Just fantastic my friend...
    I need to log off I have done way to much today...cooked and now I am suffering so bad..but it was a good day...Most all of hubbys brother and sisters called all but 2 so that made him happy...I was sad cuz I looked at the table thinking mom should be there...but she is in a much better place celebrating there I know...
    I am taking a pain pill and heading to bed...
    I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving as well
    Will catch up on your others...seems you got quite the reads on this one...you keep on penning..
    Your doing great....
    Love n hugs
    Susan~~~


  • brooklynngirl gold member
    November 21, 2007
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    I loved it!!

    I loved the flow and the story. You could surely feel the pain and fear in the villagers thoughts and lives. I really liked the last verse. And, whether you meant to do this or not, I could not help but draw a biblical allagory here. A very good poem overall. Keep it up!


  • Symphonie
    November 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, wow. I love the story that you told. My eyes were glued to the screen, wondering what was going to happen next. The answers to your questions are all YES.

    I would like... totally think the dragon was saying all of that stuff, so perhaps you can modify it as to where the dragon speaks in one font shade and the warrior speaks in another. Just a suggestion. There's like... no indication.

  • Fallen-Knight
    October 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    awseomoe both powrful and dragony (my own word) i personally prefer dragons as good guys but your wrk is awesome. Good luck with my contest


  • Reframing-Quill
    August 13, 2007

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    Long life the Victor in Victory's Name!

    Although I don't really know much about poetry, I can always tell a great story. And this one ‘certainly is that.’

    Most people enjoy tales where good triumphs over evil; but this one is metaphorically deeper and more profound than the average heroic tale. It's spiritually articulated, relating to Isaiah 29 (from the Bible). Your characters are dynamically descriptive and you kept my interest right to the very end. Personally, I found it interesting that this muse (like the Living Sword of God’s Word) distinguished between the believing and the fearfully seduced.

    Thanks for sharing.
    ~Milly


  • Fairy Nutty Buddy silver member
    August 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome story, had me drawn in the whole time, and congrats on the gold trophy you received for it.


  • Rae the MoonShine
    March 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... this was just an incredible poem. I loved it! I was so pleased with both the visual symmetry of the pictures and the story you wove so carefully. I really loved it.

    The story was so great. The metaphors and the tension kept me riveted. It was really well-done, and even the rhyming worked well... it wasn't forced or fraught with bad rhymes. I would check a couple of your spellings, but overall, this was a beautiful story and an amazing poem.

    Congratulations on the gold, and thank you so much for entering my contest!

    -Rae

  • MrAllison silver member
    March 7, 2007

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    Very Good

    Well done. I've read many poems about dragons and fantasy settings, but most aren't able to maintain a lenghty story, let alone a rhyme scheme. Good job. Keep it up.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Hales13
    March 7, 2007
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    wow. this was great!!! i thought i was reading a story, rather than a poem. it was long, but id didnt really notice... usually long poems get boring after a whie... but this one kept me riveted to the screen. good luck!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Avendesora Dreamer gold member
    March 4, 2007
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    and good trimphs over evil once again...I loved it...you could almost write a book or a play just from the story it told...I'm not normally fond of long poems but this one flowed so nicely that I didn't realize how long it was until after I had finished...

    . Rewarded 4


  • Duana gold member
    March 4, 2007

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    wow, I meant to applaud this. This is still amazing after third read. It is a real classic, and somethingevery mother should read to their child. It would make a great children's book.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Duana gold member
    March 3, 2007

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    Fear and deception were his greatest allies.
    He promised life to those who would yield.
    People forgot the truth and believed his lies.

    This desrves appluase all on it's own. It is extremely powerful, and clearheaded- lucidity that I have been searching and searching for the past ten years or more. It is the only guideline one needs to ensure a successful upright life that will keep clear of confusion. I have to be honest- I couldn't believe as I read this that you wrote it- it is I would say your best that I have ever ever read. Your other poetry simply pales in comparision to this. I would say, next time you get an instinct to write a poem, save it up until it builds into a brilliant poem like his, and write ONLY brilliant poems. This is excellent.

  • zhanis wolf
    March 3, 2007
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    it reminded me of the Bible story of David and Goliath. good job.

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