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Poured Out

Missing image

The globe now held aloft
a prize to be plucked,
was once a breast
to knead and suck,
becoming in time
a homely pillow,
when wearisome days

demanded swaddle.
 

Ever giving bosom

swells with pride

as time slips and a

journey embraced

with giant steps unfolds;

tears of joy now
wet the breast
where once

his fell unchecked.

 

As memories play,

drizzle mingled tears

wash away evidence

and faded raising years.

Captured in a glance

beating steady in the breast

(once his whole world)

an enduring love remains

eternally professed.

 

While rhythmic patter

stoically continues to fall,
soaked sobs escape

unbidden a heaving bosom...

an unneeded bosom,

made to say "goodbye"
pressed close to the son,

her newborn, now a man

with a hunger she can

no longer satisfy...

Author notes

saying goodbye to a much loved son in the rain

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Elfin silver member
    March 19

    Edit | Reply
    I am a little confused by some of the comments that you have recieved. Sensual? not to me. The importance of a mother's breast throughout the lives of her young plays an important roll, for food, to rest a head to hold a heart that beats with love. Although I am not a lover of free verse I found this piece tasteful and well written. Niaish Ma eno from all your Children has left some love on your page. Niaish for sharing Val

    . Rewarded 8


  • kitty23
    March 19

    Edit | Reply
    it was good lots of repeats but thats ok

    nice work
    good choices in some word in my point

    well thanks for sharing
    keep writing

    **where is the love**(kitty)

  • The-Catalyst
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    This was a bit too sensual for my taste, but I liked it all the same, particularly in that it flows very well. Thank you for entering my contest.

    • swanridur gold member
      February 27
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment. However, I was a bit surprised as it's about a mother saying goodbye to her son!

      • The-Catalyst
        February 27
        Edit | Reply
        Maybe I misinterpreted it. I'll take another look at it. Regardless, I did like it.

  • soulfultia gold member
    May 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I never mind too much the repeat of a word, I believe it is ok...however I am not a Master Poet...so my opinion is worth...hmmmm. I do believe however it is mentioned far to much in this poem. Setting that aside, I think you wrote a wonderful piece, it carried layered emotions from two separate characters...excellent and it had a solid message delivered within. Great picture interpretation and congratulations on your honorable mention! My pleasure to read ~Tia

    . Rewarded 8

  • Nicole Hanna
    May 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Really, the only thing I had a problem with in this poem, was the repetition of the word "bosom" in the final stanza. Quite honestly, I'll always prefer to see "breast" over "bosom" any day of the week, but even then, it occurs too often in the final lines. Actually, I think it's only the final occurance of the word that didn't sit right with me. The other repetition worked well with the flow. At any rate, I actually read this three different times, and found a new way to take the meaning of it with each read through. I loved that about this piece. Beautifully done

  • Lily otv
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    There comes a time when children grow and leave the nest often creating a gaping hole that nothing can seem to fill. It's then that we look back and remember so vividly the memories of their childhood, how we nutured them from the day they were born, through every little scrape and fall, watching with pride at their achievements and laughing with them through the years. The day they leave is one filled with very mixed emotions.

    Your poem is very expressive and well written. I'm pleased I passed this way to read it.

    . Rewarded 8


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness.....this is full of emotion and description...and loneliness and heartache..and want. Well done!
1 - 9 of 9