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Untitled


I've been going to fast to stop and breathe
the miles keep passing  me by
And my tires screaming out at me
My heart beating faster by the minute

There's a breeze telling me
That Maybe I can be
stong for me
Maybe

I've determined that I have to live
life as if you didn't exsist
Although your hand in mine
I can't put my heart in yours







Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • shatteredprince
    February 5

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    This was a cool concept for a poem, but it sounds like it needs some developement.
    *too fast to stop and breathe
    *stong for me? Not sure what you meant by that.
    And the last line sounds like you were trying to say something that felt very powerful, but you got tongue tied. This is a good poem that needs some extra love.
    And of course I remember you! I gots me a good memory!

    Commodore