I've been going to fast to stop and breathe
the miles keep passing me by
And my tires screaming out at me
My heart beating faster by the minute
There's a breeze telling me
That Maybe I can be
stong for me
Maybe
I've determined that I have to live
life as if you didn't exsist
Although your hand in mine
I can't put my heart in yours
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
This was a cool concept for a poem, but it sounds like it needs some developement.
*too fast to stop and breathe
*stong for me? Not sure what you meant by that.
And the last line sounds like you were trying to say something that felt very powerful, but you got tongue tied. This is a good poem that needs some extra love.
And of course I remember you! I gots me a good memory!
Commodore

