and then there’s the love that doesn’t listen to sheets
with short breaths and muffled groans and fabrics
pulled aside enough to satisfy mechanics.
not like we’re naked and coupling in the streets
but in convenient places like a tent or a desk;
there’s the sublime rolling in midday warmed grass;
or loud music and a strange backyard with your ass
cold, not quite falling out – there’s the grotesque
it’s sex without acrobatics or fireworks.
nature’s baton conducts and the lover becomes
a mate and love acts in unspoken ways because
it must so it huffs and groans and jerks
along and in the fumbling darkness those lies succumb
to the truth - that it is now as it always was.
In a list
A contest entry
- B.E.S.T. by buggirl.
700 points, ended July 3, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - search by CarCrashHumor.
800 points, ended August 1, 2007, 26 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Interesting
I am returning the favour WendyK - I just choose a poem at random - wow - very well done - what can I say? - The rhyme and flow are great - complimenting the ultimate beauty of the theme - Bless God - Joe (Dobar Dan)
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yes!
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punchy!
I enjoyed reading this, much different to the average sonnet! Good subject - I often relate sonnets to romance so this whole poem seems quite ironic. To me, it appears you're commenting on the difference between love and sex and how we are often misled about the two combined. Really good piece
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Promise...sing
LOL ... one presumes this composition should not necessarily be taken at face value but more a sophisticated parody pretending to pretend disguising acute observational aptitudes in a contemporary cloak which seems to hightlight "fumbling darkness" so "those lies succumb" ...
yet- to tell the truth - "that it is now as it always was." can no longer be said after reading this intriguing sonnet
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hmm, interesting. I really like the first stanza, and the last one too, but the second I don't like as much because it's kind of awkward. anyway, thanks for entering my contest, great job.
Jen -
Yeah. Took more than a couple of reads but that's it.
First class.
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a bit weird but good anyway keep writing the line that was a bit off to me was: or loud music and a strange backyard with your ass
just seems werid but good work otherwise
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