Distant lover, sleepy eyes
she wakes to see a new sunrise.
Far away his night is now,
and yet they are as one somehow.
The ocean's vast and endless miles
cannot dispel their knowing smiles
that one day soon if fate is kind
they'll join body, soul and mind.
She marks each minute on her clock
with thoughts of him, she takes a walk.
Desert sands beneath her feet
She strolls along, her dream is sweet.
Bodies bare at last entwined
Distance now lays unconfined.
A soft caress from tender hands
without restraint of time’s demands
Upon a beach at end of day
his thoughts allowed to drift away
to her who waits across the sea.
Beneath the stars a whispered plea
to one day walk her desert sand
where eye to eye and hand in hand
their dream of love comes true at last
and lonely lives fade to the past.
Reality and dreams combine
becoming fact when stars align
So patiently they wait their turn
to have the one for which they yearn
The time will come for happy tears
Well worth the wait of all those years
The eager hearts will find a way
To be forever joined...
One day
Rakerman and A-Bear
Author notes
a-bear
A contest entry
- show me again by slipperssun.
800 points, ended October 26, 2007, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best prewrites- ROUNDS!!! by rocklover91.
525 points, ended December 18, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Co-Writes! by Sun Singer.
600 points, ended April 21, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and everything-prewrites allowed-2nd contest by Midgetbridgey.
350 points, ended July 11, 280 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP's Best Prewrites by Lowercase Prelude.
800 points, ended July 22, 96 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
-
This is absolutely fascinating.
-
wherever I go I will carry this with me and it will be one of my proudest achievements. Thanks raker for writing with me ... this is like magic and it feels like that when i read it ... which I do often.
-
This was a very touching, sweet and just a great piece all together. You did really well with the imagery, I liked it. Nice job.
~~Tori~~
-
Your words are beautiful. Truly. The words swept me away. Congratulations on the silver cups that you have gotten. They are well deserved! keep penning.
Rosita -
Such a beautiful poem,I really liked this.
-
Wow! I am absolutely blown away by this write! Wonderful entry, I loved the rhyme scheme and the flow! Brava!
-
I love this, it reminds me of a book I once read entitled 'The Falconer' about a love where they both die and then join as one as spirits, well, it's not quite the same, but this is really pro. I think you'll publish soon one day, maybe you could team up with rakerman1 for a co-authored book.
-
great job on this!
"Far away his night is now,
and yet they are as one somehow."
great lines! anyway, great job and best of luck in this contest!
~rocklover9 -
Your poem drew me in and I hope they find each other.
I especially liked "and lonely lives fade to the past"there's a nice easy pace to this write,lines run smoothly with natural rhyming
-
Beautiful!! It is so great to see a poem done in rhyme that flows so perfectly. And not a forced rhyme in the piece! This is an absolutely gorgeous write. Good luck in the contest!
-
wow that is a love poem written so well it defies words. thank you for showing me what i love about this site. thanks for entering and i wish you well
cheers
Jen
-
This was amazing the two dance so wonderful together.The longing pulls at the heart wanting to help anyway you can to get them together.bravo poetic on an briliant masterpiece.
-
-
thank you for the lovely comment. I'm sure rakerman1 thanks you als
-
-
wow! that was so nice, I was almost crying! it was beautiful and well written, I would be honoured if you would look at my poems and comment them!
-
This is almost an ache with waiting, the distance so physically tangible but soul closing the gap. You capture beautifully the strength of the old adage that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Lovely, heartfelt words.
-
This poem is lovely and the back ground is awesome for your poem,thanks for sharing and good luck..mm
-
Lovely, so very romanticly written. Nice work!
-
Beautifully Profound!!!
-
wow this was so wonderful keep up the good work.
-
I really loved this
I really liked this it reminded me of lovers separated by war, fervently waiting to see each other again. -
So Romantic
I love poems such as these and sadly I have been on here for two hours to find a poem such as this and this poem is absolutely perfect, I love poems that are meaningful and the writer can make it rhyme, its a wonderful talent to have because many ruin the poem itself by doing that, but not this, it was very well written and expressed
-
Graet
Beautiful, you are a truly talented poet. Please comment on my poem, too. Thank you
-
This is such a beautiful poem. Quite a bit different to mine I wrote under the same title. I love the whole poem I cant even single out any one piece I like more! I wish I could write like this. Great Job. Looking forward to reading more of your work soon.
Hugz
Himler
-
Wonderful writing. I love this. The imagery is super here too. Wonderful writing. Keep it up.
All the best
Wayne
-
very nice ppoem. had very good mening and a spiritual sense behind it.
-
Amazing
I may be young but i know a well writen peice when i see one. this was one. just unbelieveable.
-
This is an amazing poem. You are one of my idols, no lie. i love writing, with rhymes, mainly, to get to people. As to that, this poem seriousally, touched me.
-
-
That comment rightly should go to rakerman1, he was the main source of the poem.
-
-
Waiting is part of love!
The eager hearts will find a way
To be forever joined...
One day"The ending is splendid. Fantasy is more exciting and blissful than reality, as in fantasy our thoughts blossom , whereas in realiy hurdles of truth break the thoughts to fly!lol
-
STUNNING!!!
STUNNING WRITING. VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL INDEED. I LOVED IT. ALTHOUGH THIS IS NOT MY TYPE OF WRITING, I CAN REALLY APPRECIATE THE EMOTION AND SKILL THAT WENT INTO THIS PIECE. WELL DONE
ALL THE BEST
WAYNE
-
That was so gorgeous! How beautiful and romantic.
-
This is beautiful!
I am not so good with words to be able to say much more than that. It is a work of art, this picture you've painted. And I think there could have been no other alternative to your choice of background. This one is perfect, no other would do. -
i loved this poem
it left me with a big smile on my face
it was realy emotional and touching
really enjoyed this
-
-
We worked really hard on it, so thank you for reading and for the nice comment. It's always nice when someone enjoys your work
-
-
Beautiful
Oh my this was amazing! Honestly, I just loved it!!
-
Man! I feel blessed to have you two in my life and to have you two consider me a friend. This will definitely be added to my page!
-
this was just so finely penned
your words werejust so beautiful
this poem is elegant
and lovely
i realy love this beauty -
oh wow!!!!! i dont know what to say..... the flow was outstanding.
the lines so perfectly matched.....
i love it all
-
Oh this is so beautiful. Wow I am really impressed. There is nothing forced about this at all. It flows wonderfully. You did a terrific job on the border as well. Take a bow both of you, this is fantastic!
Jeannie
-
Beautifully written in splendid rhythm and seamless rhyme which allows this piece to flow effortlessly. The reader senses your yearning and joyful anticipation. The background is exquisite and enhances the poem's mood.
-
-
I think the rhyme is very forced myself. Rakerman forces a co-writer to be as good as he is at rhyme or he refuses to post anything
Thank you for the wonderful comment.
-
-
This is very nice to the eyes and has a great flow. I think you both put this together wonderfully, and wouldn't change a word. Xlnt, Xlnt write. Two thumbs up
-
the both of you have done a fantastic write here it is so butiful and the border is awsome well done xxx cheeky xxx
-
Oh this is just wonderful, bravo to you both
-
I loved it such words created a flow of passion
its a very well done write, keep it up -Kevin
Adding your comment:
1 - 45 of 45
