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Bunker Mentality

"It's a scary world out there" he said
"So I'll stay here, inside my head.
My ears are deaf my eyes are blind,
I'm safe alone here in my mind...

But - wait!

I now begin to hear
sly whisperings inside my ear...
And my own shadow's lurching near,
Misshapen! menacing!

 

It might

 

Be best if I

Put out

My light."

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • All Hell Rises
    September 10

    Edit | Reply
    The subject is very visual, and nicely put..you could expand it a bit,it might sound better...it's maybe a bit too simple, for a feeling so complicated, and too rushed into a contrary and fear...but the picture is present, and that's what matters...and a dark picture it is, so.. I like it

  • mystic-angel gold member
    May 16
    Edit | Reply
    Ooh creepy! I like this, a great take on the quote. Thanks for your entry. Good luck!

  • Blooming Poet Greeters member
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Great job, I've seen better from you, but I still love it. Love this part


    Now my own shadow's creeping near,
    Misshapen! menacing!

  • Namita
    September 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This was very image-filled and powerful at the same time. The last lines were killer. Thanxx for the talent, poet.


    Luv,
    ~Candy

  • Lost Memory
    September 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this was good, but it wasnt quite what i was looking for... thanks for entering

    ~Nick

  • Glasyalabolas
    September 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering. Could you please put the quote chosen in your Author's Notes (but don't respond to this message to maintain annonymity).

    Many, many thanks.

  • anaisnais
    September 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    They're coming to take you away! Haha hehe haha! Right now it is clearer to me. Thank you for your last bit of enlightening detail. Nice work.

  • anaisnais
    August 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I wonder...should this be portrayed as the shadow of death...mmmm. Afraid this ones got me the same...deep in thought wondering if i've read you right. Can you confirm please. Suggestion a writers comment would be helpful with such a poem. Kindest intentions and wishes poet and thank you for sharing.mmmm....


    • jimmy20johns gold member
      August 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Point taken re author's note being helpful to reader.
      However, the point of this poem is given in its title. 'Bunker mentality' refers to those who retreat within themselves to avoid what they see as threatening. But isolation can too easily engender that other horror - 'cabin fever' - when it is our own mind that most threatens us. It is our own teeth that are nearest our throat. Most grateful for your comment. Thanks

  • Touchof1der Moderators member
    August 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes you just seem to stumble across a piece and read down through the lines a time or two or three and you still feel a certain unsettling in the core of your being as to how you feel about what you have read or even what to think of it. It leaves you pondering. I guess you could say that is what this piece has done for me personally. It has left me pondering. Your words will remain in my mind for some time to come while I decipher them at my leisure. It was a pleasure to read and view your work. Thank you for sharing it and taking the time to enter my contest. I found this to be uniquely and profoundly written. I like different and this certainly fits the bill there.
    ♥ Touchof1der
1 - 10 of 10