Today I’m alone. At last,
I feel like me and not the world.
Eyes catch the light but now
I’m apart. It’s only reflected
light in the distorting mirror.
Those strands of foliage look
like reeds in a green pool.
Sitting in the fluffy chair,
I’m waiting.
The nurse’s brisk buttocks bustle by.
No, not for that, though that too
must be borne.
Outside the sun is shining
and the mirror’s pool seems real.
Nurse says: “Now we must take our bath.”
Nurse says: “Now we must rest.”
We? Who is we?
Today I’m alone in the fluffy chair
and somewhere in my head,
where it’s not dead, the words are forming.
My daughter’s here and she holds my hand.
She takes the notebook and pen from the table,
smiles a question and bends to catch
my whisper.
“Today I’m alone.
Just me and not
the world. The glass
reflects the light –
a pool of foliage.”
Too slow today, too hard.
After a while she says
“You’ve had a good day. Really.
Now you should rest.”
Her lips brush my cheek gently
like she’s afraid my skin will
crack or dissolve beneath her touch.
Her eyes transparent with moisture
reflect the foliage and more, but never me.
“Really you need to rest.”
I do
not want to rest. My mind
is sparking, nerve ends jumping.
I want to say open the book
and write.
A poem. While the sun whirls in the sky
too fast. The pool is emptying.
She smiles and
leaves.
I’m alone.
I feel all me and not the world.
A contest entry
- WTF?! Give me your best and I'll give you all my points! by ellipsist.
4919 points, ended September 2, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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What I love about this piece is the
contrast between the fine details and the picture at large and the descriptions and how far/deep inside of the head of the perspective the reader becomes immersed... something captured in such an honest way it is difficult not to believe it is written from the perspective of someone that has actually gone through such an experience... I would have SUCH difficulty NOT believing that this is what such an experience is like... I love the way this piece helps to immerse the reader...
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Thanks I'm so glad you like it. Truth is I'm a healthy and active 20 year-old. I have spent some time in hospital a few years ago but thats all.
I worked really hard on this, I think I was playing out one of my biggest fears and that's why it rings true. So yeah, it's lovely to hear you liked it.
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This is an amazing poem. I can't say enough about it having been with my mother in her convalenscent home experience. The interior dialogue jumps off the page. You showed us alone. By showing us what alone is for someone that truly is experiencing it.
Artfully done.
Penquinpoet
. Rewarded 6
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beautiful... touching...
a wonderful and very real look at life... I cannot tell if this is written from experience, I would hate to make an assumption, either way - this piece is fantastic, no matter, though... thank you for this entry... good luck! -
The drift is a bit hard to grasp at first, but as i read further the feelings swayed me along with the flow, the emotion is tremendous and the beauty of this poem evident. Absolutely beautiful.
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Very deeply intense.
My first impression is the very depth of feelings in this piece. Emoyionally this is all to real and a place we none of us want to go. There is nothing awkward about it and there is nothing to change, What a great title for this piece. The first line sets this very well. The last line ends this in the way it should. Very well written.
. Rewarded 6
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This is such fine work. The pain of being imprisoned in this way, the mind free, the body caught tight and useless. I find myself praying - please God, don't let me go there - it seems odd to be saying thank you for your words because they are so hard to take. The use of "I do" as a link is quite brilliant and works, oh, so well.
Donald
. Rewarded 6
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