how does one correlate
with smudges of pastels
etched deeply to abate
lasting pain where it dwells;
how does one rightly justify
the endless trysts craved for,
as one’s heart continues to deny
feelings one can’t ignore.
love disguised as friendship
enlivens to subdue,
a long cherished dream
one can’t ever pursue;
in this brief forsaken life,
unfulfilled love and needs reign,
where passion and wants are rife,
in a pompous, empty domain.
Author notes
life is strange...as you said, life is full of colors--but what do you do when red blood turns pink..
A contest entry
- A certain shade... by Virgoan.
500 points, ended September 4, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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how does one correlate smudges of infidelity in a well-organized happy life, where the joys of laughter perceived turns out to be delusions and pretenses revealed in your legacy of doubt
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This is hurtfully penned. There are lines here that ask pertinent questions that yearn for resolution. Masterfully penned with stellar language usage. Excellent!
Much Love & Happy Holidays to You & Yours ♥
Renee
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Oh, what a tortured write! I’ve been in this situation one too many times, that deep longing for a step further from the torture of a friendship, the concealing of love that one so wishes to be a passionate realm. Very well written, captivating and hard-hitting. This poem is such an emblem into that strand of agony and emptiness…love that will never be, the bondage of concealing true feelings, or that’s what I picked up from this piece, rather. The flow of this is just marvelous, so masterfully written. Glorious wording and metaphoric prose. A grace of a write that is quite affecting and powerful. Excellent write!!!!!
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For some reason I feel this poem in the depths of me. It's almost as if you peeked inside my brain and read the "etchings" on my heart. Today has not bee a great day but one I'm grateful for just the same. I am in a yearning mode, although I truly have all my needs met. Hmmmm...I just shared a personal side of me with a total stranger. Go figure! But then there are no strangers in this world, and more often than not we need to see that we are never alone in the ways we feel. Your poetry moved me in a way that most does not. Excellent!
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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A very fine write indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are fine. I could fully relate to the sense of emptiness in this poem. Well, done indeed.
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Friendship of a certain shade ...
says: conditional? Am I correct? Unconditional love means ... true love, even though the other party may think it "friendship" ... which is a personal choice to be accepted, in love.
You said it well. One cannot forever live in a dream.
The question remains: what to do? It left this reader in a reflective mood.
Well done, Poet.
Myra
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A freeflow rhyme scheme with intensity of emotion,the reader feels the weight of the debate between the head and the heart,the ache of unrequited love.
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hey boss, how've you been? long time, huh?
anyways, 'bout your poem, loved it! (lagi naman di ba?)
this part is my fave:
love disguised as friendship
enlivens to subdue,
a long cherished dream
one can’t ever pursue;
breaks my heart cuz i know how it feels..
keep writing and stay healthy.
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"As one's heart continues to deny
What one can't ignore."
That was my favorite part, obviously
Very nice, I really liked this one
PS I THOUGHT I WAS ON MY HOMEPAGE WHEN I SAW THIS!!
. Rewarded 4
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freindship and love...the everlasting struggle...Hmm...I like this because it is something I can relate to now also. "How does one correlate with smudges of pastels..." I love that line! Very nice...
. Rewarded 4
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Very colorful written poem and full of loving thoughts! If you quit on dreams.. they will quit on you simple as that especially when everybody fills your head to think their ways. I usually don`t pay attention. You raise a fear of intimacy i think in your poem and why do we run from it truly coz it controls us. Your poem reaches a certain level of depth or closeness and sharing. My husband is my best friend as well
Creating unconditional love by being completely accepting your partner the way he or she is. Dr. Phil`s stuff
. Rewarded 8
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i think that this is a wonderful short poem. you get to the point quickly and it sticks with the reader long after the reading is done. thank you for sharing this with me and am looking forward to reading more from you. viyanna rosemarie
. Rewarded 4
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I think that this poem is deeply lovely, it flows well and is packed with emotion. Well doneand good luck in the contest. Val
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Hm. Very interested. Though it did seem that you shoved some words in there that I wouldn't have put into such a short poem, but it's still a very good poem.
"in this brief forsaken life,
unfulfilled love and needs reign,
where passion and wants are rife,
in a pompous, empty domain."
Wow. Just great. Your idea is very thought through, and is kept throughout the poem...
Nice job!
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The way you entwined the words with the shades of life is really amazing. The words are powerful and true. Beautiful!
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.
>>>VIRGOAN
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