i hate sleeping
and empty spaces
and how the smalls of
my back catch
cold breezes that
freeze me through
and through -
in the places
you would lie
languishing in our bed
dreaming about
other better beds
IKEA beds
(at least i have not
lost my sense of humour)
and now i languish
in a bed of my own, too
heavy with blood to
move at all, and they
say "she's sick, sick, sick
to death," but i am just
so sick of loneliness
Author notes
Just a short poem to mourn the fact that my boyfriend cheated on me then left me for a Swedish girl.
Don't mind, anything's fine.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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thats so uncool..guys are jerks..=/ i thought this poem was going to be funny and about different types of beds..me likey anyways =)i especially loved the 1st stanza
i hate sleeping
and empty spaces
and how the smalls of
my back catch
cold breezes that
freeze me through
and through -
in the places
you would lie
languishing in our bed
dreaming about
other better beds
IKEA beds
hmm...great poem..=)
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I chose this one because it has the least number of lines.
It's a nice documentary of your feelings and fact... cold small of the back and so on.
Good spare use of your words, we're poets I suppose, wordplay is what we're meant to do... and I like the fewer words the better, easily read.
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That ain't fair!! I just hate it when that happens...people taking their loved ones for granted...
Ugh.
Loved the refernce made to "bed"...it really does feel quite empty knowing the one you loved isn't there... -
maybe she was "Swedish for common wench" seriously though, I like the feel of this, it conveys that feeling of mourning over a lost relationship. the short lines work, and I like the humor aspect and have found personally that humor-even dark humor- helps when feeling sad. All in all I say this works for me and beds are lonliest right after a breakup arent they?...peace Terry
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Brilliant.
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I like your style. I think you should give more thought to the repetition of words and really look at how to craft your art. Also - I think "small of my back" would be better than "smalls"
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Swedish women are famous for their blonde pubic hair I believe. They also have gorgeous firm bodies and no fuzzy hair.
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The 'bed' is such a metaphor of any relationship. If bad things happen in the bed of the relationship, then bad things are happening in the relationship itself. Learning to sleep by yourself again is torture after he leaves. Thank you for sharing this . . .
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So, this Swedish girl, did she look like a giant meatball? Because if she did, I don't think his relationship with her will last too long.
Why would anyone want to cheat on you? A guy just doesn't know the good he has, does he?
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Great poem, I love the line “cold breezes that freeze me through” giving that empty space both a spiritual and physical absence. The line (at least I have not lost my sense of humor) is very positive and acknowledges the need to mourn before the inevitable moving on. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful poem. I look forward to reading more of your work.
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The title drew me into this poem, probably because of the love of my bed lol. The beautiful and humerus writing are what kept me drawn in. I love that through the sadness you threw lights of optimism in. The imagery was amazing, and I love the way you ended the poem. I think everyone can relate to the feeling of having an empty bed, that didn't use to be empty. Phenomenal poem!
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I am sorry that your boyfriend has done this to you. I feel all of ur emotions in this. In time you will get over this. I feel your pain my friend. Blessed Be! ~~Shannon~~
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Ouch.
Well, I like your take on beds, refreshing approach as well. The next one maybe will appreciate your bed more... and that's what matters.
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