With silent sigh I see your frozen face
Your lips and eyes that speak your hardened heart,
And ponder what to do that could erase
Your angry thoughts that we should be apart.
Enlighten me with honest speech so frank
And say who turned your heart and head from me.
Who filled your mind with rancor rank
So that my prismed love you could not see?
Ah, yes! ‘Tis done. The darkest truth I know.
No strident pleas nor piteous poignant sigh
Brings your return, and bitterness will grow.
What stirs a sentient mind to say goodbye?
And so I weep and toss away my dreams,
And wish goodbyes had never known these themes.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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This is extremely well written, quite amazing and strikes me on certain levels. It's very sad indeed, but at the same time a bitterly love, a mix of thoughts and emotions. Your volta is quite original. A great sonnet. Thank you for writing this. Erwin
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I wonder how many of us wish that we had had your words to hand at some time in our lives, instead of standing there hurt and unable to speak. Lovely sonnet. Thank you
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Thank you for the comment. How easy it is to wax poetic long after the fact!
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This has happened to me, and I have never been able to understand how love could turn to cold indifference without some lie to cause it. However, without some charity on the other side, there is no return.
Your sonnet form is excellent, a good read. Thank you for bringing it to the group board.
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Loved this peice, such a good command of language.
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Great
I love the rhyme scheme as abab and for an amteur like me its so hard to belive that you have never lost a touch in the poem. Its been at the same level throughout and certainly raised in end, I mean to say some poems begin good but end bad . you rpoem had every good thing. Good write Mamad. Keep'em coming
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This is so good
It is truely a wonderful poem. I love how it is so honest. You have done a great job here, and i can see now that goodbye, really does mean goodbye...xoxox...
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Rather beautiful sonnet
particularly the even flow from beginning to end. Allpoetry does have among the better sonnet writers around, I should think!
Thank you for contesting. In other contests you will do well, I am sure. Talent seems to attract itself here!
Ron.
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Oh my lovely auntie, I see you're still making lovely poems dancing the spirit. How thoughtful you chose the words and how great you expressed the bitterness of sending farewells.
I thank you kindly for sharing this with us and wish you the best of luck in the contest
~Massy~
PS. I hope everything is ok at your side. I just missed my lovely auntie and a need brought me here to this page
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Wish I knew the answer to your question. I hate goodbyes, especially angry, cold ones. You wrote a good piece here with lots of heart and openness. The beginning is a bit of denying the facts of what the eyes see, and then the pleading in the middle for enlightenment,then on to the bitter and sad ending of letting go of dreams once shared. Makes me a little depressed...which I guess makes it great poetry. It effected me down deep. Regards, WAM
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G'day Madam. I'm Slip.
Your poem appeals to me. I had a row with a stockman ten years ago. As station manager, I dismissed him. The look in his eyes meant that I have been haunted by him ever since. Yep. I know where your at!
I've been a bachelor for a long time now and almost forgotten what this love stuff is about. But I do get your drift. Mrs Jensen, my Boss's wife, says these lines remind her of a poison tree and I do not know why.
Your rhymed lines at the end are very good. Thank you.
Hooroo, Slip. -
Sad & Beautiful
The subject is sad, but the poem is beautiful. This is a splendid sonnet in my eyes, with a good turning point between the eighth and nineth line. Very well written. I like it a lot.
Anna.
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GREAT
This is exceptionally well written, written so poeticly, I read aloud with classical music to get true feeling of this piece.
The end is brilliant
And so I weep and toss away my dreams,
And wish goodbyes had never known these themes
so true as many have felt this was and will continue to feel this way throughout time.
Good luck in the competition, I also shose the same them, it's amazing how people interpret things as mine is completely different to this piece,
great write, keep it up, Romanee, xx
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wowww this is soooo greattt
so well writeen i love it loadsssssss
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