Small price of the ticket-
Moss Side inhaled
Third World played.
"Now that we've found Love, what we gonna do with it"?
I danced
Author notes
24 words
In a list
A contest entry
- salvation on a shoestring by Cat.
500 points, ended October 18, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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I get this one more after reading the comments..lol.
Congratulations.
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without the explanation of moss side in a comment- i'm not convinced i would have gathered the bits of this piece into a whole- but with that minor piece the whole of it is fun and lively and wonderful
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I haven't danced in years... and years... roughly twenty? ...lol give or take a five..
ain't domesticity fun?
The brevity of this is perfect.. and your word choice adds so much more ..
Well done ...
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very good
delightful read
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Lovely!
Brevity is no mountain (or lack thereof?) your pen cannot climb...
Very well done in only 24 words!
Blessings! Tammy
P.S. Great Song too!
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There's something about this that suggests a form, but I'll be jiggered if I can figure out which form that would be. I keep clicking on these itty bitty poems, due to the contest. Interesting, and good exercise - the writing, as well as the dancing.
The last line is just what is needed, an answer to the question. Nicely done, GillyGill.
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thankie ma'am...
it was a great night, although my body didn't seem to enjoy trying to get out of bed this morning..
lololol
G.x
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fantabloodymarvellous
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lubblyjubbly
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really nice Gill, I love the title too...
al
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thanks Al.. it's actually a place in Manchester, Moss Side... where i was boogeying all night last night, well till the wee small hours
but it does suit the mood and the title ... so thank you
glad you liked it..
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The title with the last lines..beautiful..simple and effective! I like the spoken sentence, works well in a short poem here
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been there, done exactly that... so wonderful to remenber... thank you... PK
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and i bet you had a good time too
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Nice limit poem. Hey doing these short ones can be as hard as a sonnet. But, now that we have found love, what do we do? I have the flu. From kissing you.
michael
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when you're dancing with your honey
and his nose is rather runny
don't think it's funny
cause it's snot
sorry.. just the flu thing.. hehhehe and the fact my hips are in alignment with jupiter today and mars and any other planet apart from this one...
hehehhe
thank you Michael
G.x
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oh i liked this
reminds me of key west nights
with street performers and how
my free entertainment would get me
dancing, and into trouble lol
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hehhehe
the air was a bit thick last night.
so to speak....one only had to breathe and one felt... happy
hehehhehe
oooops.. sorry ossifer...
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Nearly
Now obviously part of this is because if it don't rhyme and scan it starts behind the line for me. But although I think it gets the evening across well it just needs, I don't know, more?
. Rewarded 4
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can't do more hun... only 25 words allowed for this contest...
thanks though
i could have told the story of the whole night.. but it's condensed down to 24 words
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I too pass on this. This just not make it.
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why did you click then?? weird shit this...
pass on what??? .... what is it that you're passing on..
life, love, poetry, reading... i don't get it..
but thanks for dropping by.. said with an ironic smile.
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Sorry to say but I have to pass on this one - the brevity does not enhance.
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fine lolol
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love can be
nice discovery . .
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thankyou
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Reminds me of Oasis in New Palz. They had a band covering The Dead, and oh boy did I dance. I danced and danced, and nothing else mattered (at least until the hangover hit
)
Us girls, we need these nights.
I'm glad you went out
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indeed we do .... yes ...
soon....
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Seems as if you know what to do with that love, Gill... I can see you dancing!
This is a great little piece - made me smile. And of course you had another reason to dance last night....>>>>> Johnnny and the Roses!!
~ Nicolette
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that's Mr Wilkinson to you my girl!!!! how very dare you!
hahahhaha
we're gonna trash your arse if SA make the final tonight.... i shall be glued to the telly laters... watching them get down to it..
and then girl... just watch us RUN LIKE LIONS NEXT WEEK... ...
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Oh so very sorry... isn't it Sir Wilkinson - hehehehehe
You are sooo smug...but wait, the bokke are coming... *
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HAHAHHAHA
OOOH just you wait.. what time is kick off.. 8pm here i think...
smug.. moi??? never... hahahahha
the bokke, hockyschmockey sticks and stones may break my bones, but your cunning plan wont hurt me
we shall be victorious... hhehehehhe
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don't do
just be
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indeed...
although, i seem to have mislaid my legs somewhere???
hahhahah ... old age and dry rot ...
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oh your legs are in the right place
wrapped maybe but
arround the right spot
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