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While You Were Sleeping

I came to lay down by your side
propped my head up to watch you in slumber.

Taking all of you within my vision;
smile as your body rises and falls
with every slow sleepy breath you take.
Looking at your face my eyes trace every line
each contour mapped and put to memory.
The hint of a smile creeps across your lips
thought you were sleeping my love, but you are.
You are dreaming sweet dreams while you are sleeping.
Gently sliding my arm around you I move in close.

Holding your heart in my safe care I remember
soaring, entwined by the power of loves embrace
we fly together you and I in dreams that we share,
by what we hold within the essence of our souls.
I gave my heart as did you, we carefully placed our love
in the box hidden in our special secret place.
I am watching you sleep my love keeping my focus.
Riding the curves and dips of the coast road babe
following the white line of our life’s highway;
As you dream I am here just loving you
I draw in closer to the warmth of your body.

My hand I feel you squeeze and gently kiss
our love I feel even now while you are sleeping.

Author notes

Option 3

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • robert bolin
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    Deeply im beded visions sink in with the brilliantly penned words of emotions here the crown is yours


  • Justusdreams
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is immensely visual. There is a lot of beauty in the words but the emotion is what stands out the most. It's one thing to love like that but quite another to put it into such eloquent terms. Lovely read. Can't wait to read more.


  • Mirthryl
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely descriptions, drawing the reader into your quiet, happy reflections in the soft silvers of moonlight. Excellent "riding the curves and dips...following the white line of our life's highway." Delightful conclusion. A sense of treasured and trusted reciprocal love. Congrats on the gold.


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    August 9

    Edit | Reply

    stunnng!

    I really love to hear Love expressed with such deep emotion, love tenderness and well penned expression,
    you can teach a thing or two about loving some one!

    your word flow was great and well thought out!
    Great work!

    Rend The Veil


  • Roaddog Wolf gold member
    April 18
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    thank you for sharing

  • OrochimaruloverXD
    December 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, that was really good, you really did a nice job on opton 3


  • Rose Angel gold member
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautifully penned, and has a special privacy of thoughts, looks,something some poems never share but I think the observing of each other in sleep, when you are in love is overlooked, and just taking the time to appreciate each other in this fast paced world..love as you describe should be given the treasure it is...And you have brought it out clearly, and beautifully...I like the dreaming....and how you expressed it and drew near and squeezed his hand....Times to be treasured and taken.....Lovely write

    • dustookie2
      November 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Love happens when you go to sleep and wake up in the same dream Thank you for your comment I appreciate your thoughts.

  • Gwenevere
    November 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    This is how true love is.You gave the very esscence of it.That's all I can sy really.Simply beautiful, Ros


  • lostdreamer101
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done. Without looking at the picture I love the image it puts in your head. I like your starting it made me want to fall into it.


  • Sayyid
    November 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    100% sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    A classic poem of tenderness and caring! i really conneted with the love poet in me! i am inspired to write something on love...thanx

  • daconscious1
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you have a trully gifted ability your poetry capture's the very feeling i feel when next to my partner
  • shamricka
    October 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    your poem is so beautiful. It really touch my soul. I want to learn how to expand my mind like that.

    . Rewarded 4


  • BorntothePurple
    October 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sweet love poem and very tender.

    I really like these lines:

    "Riding the curves and dips of the coast road babe
    following the white line of our life’s highway;
    As you dream I am here just loving you
    I draw in closer to the warmth of your body."

    Have you thought about ending it with those lines? They seem to be more powerful an ending than the last two you have....Just my opinion. Take it or leave it.


  • Highwaytraveller
    October 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Holding your heart in my safe care I remember
    soaring, entwined by the power of loves embrace
    we fly together you and I in dreams that we share,
    by what we hold within the essence of our souls.
    I gave my heart as did you, we carefully placed our love
    in the box hidden in our special secret place.
    I am watching you sleep my love keeping my focus.
    Riding the curves and dips of the coast road babe
    following the white line of our life’s highway;
    As you dream I am here just loving you
    I draw in closer to the warmth of your body

    These were the most heartfelt lines in the poem....
    pretty good, and you managed to keep me interested even with free verse

    Good!!
  • Brown Eyed Boy
    October 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I hoped when I saw this title that it might be a poem just like this, I needed to read something gentle tonight, take my mind off..... well you know. Follow that white line mook, may it lead you to the garden of Eden.

    Jim


  • Roaddog Wolf gold member
    October 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow, you have penned love

    being awake and knowing the dreams of love in the slumber of of the one you love, surely his dreaming was a smile of loving in his sleep. he is alucky one he is, who awaits your sleep to love you in your dreams and wonders if your dreams were like his of you when sleeping. kind of dreaming awake or asleep that makes two lovers feel complete. wonderful write


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very sensuous very warm and cozy poem lovely picture to
    my favorite part
    Holding your heart in my safe care I remember
    soaring, entwined by the power of loves embrace
    we fly together you and I in dreams that we share,
    by what we hold within the essence of our souls.
    I gave my heart as did you, we carefully placed our love
    in the box hidden in our special secret place.
    I am watching you sleep my love keeping my focus.
    Riding the curves and dips of the coast road babe
    following the white line of our life’s highway;
    As you dream I am here just loving you
    I draw in closer to the warmth of your body.
  • nothinghere silver member
    October 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is stunning and romantic... such a beautiful write, you make us all long for place and moments like this..... written like only you can with that golden pen

    Love you

    Karen

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