[ Is it really that abnormal, ]

Is it really that abnormal,
To collapse quite frequently,
For my eyes to close when I stand
As my head burns inside,
And the colours are acid bright
Sometimes the world turns black
As I rise from the floor
And I lose my footing,
Feeling so insecure, unstable
As if I’m only just learning to walk
A lump in my throat,
Not from love today,
I’m not nervous either
Disabling me from drinking
I cannot eat,
But that’s no bad thing.
And when I cannot stop
This death rattle cough,
Shaking, purging my body
I collapse again,
On my hands and knees,
A caged animal, beaten and betrayed
Through the tears I try so hard to hide
I’m wondering what’s going on inside
Why am I so screwed up?
 
Even though I try so hard
To restrain my fucked up body
I cannot stop everyone seeing
And from drawing their own conclusions
I don’t know what’s the matter,
I don’t know how to make it stop
It’s been going on forever
But now it’s worse than ever
I’m not ill, I swear
But something’s wrong.
It won’t stop me being strong.
It won’t stop me from living