I close my eyes
And cover my ears
All this fighting
I can't stand to hear
I think I'm losing it
I'm slowly dying inside
I'm losing it...
Waiting for the fight to reside
I cant' take it anymore
It's time to take my stand
Those who are with me
Come and take my hand!
I think I'm losing it
I'm slowly dying inside
I'm losing it
Waiting for the fight to reside
I'm taking my stand
I'm going to make it end!
So all these wounds
Will be able to mend.
Author notes
just something I wrote... what do you think of it?
Please Tell Me What You Think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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WOW!
this one just left me speechless!!! amazing job, mindblowing!
keep penning kays!
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I think it's awesome. I interpreted it as child abuse, but as I kept reading it,...self mental abuse? Either way, you did a great job of depicting the emotions involved in those situations. Great job.
~jess
P.S.- I added you, k? -
WOW, This is the perfect poem of when I was a teenager. My family fighting, my daddy dying, everything falling apart, my stepdad turning to alcoholism, everything, you have described my life in this poem and yet its devastating to think that even a fragment is personal to you I admire this write so much. I'm bookmarking it!!!! Keep writing please! I am putting you as my favorites Sara Dawn
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tragic
I see a young teenager witness to the many battles in a bad marriage. sadky those in battle rarely take into account what is does to their childre. I know for I was on both ends. Gutsy write young lady
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This is a wonderful write. It has great tempo to it and very easy to read. Thanks for sharing. Beautiful write.
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i know exactly how this feels thank you for sharing something i can personally connect to. its a great poem
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I love this write: it could almost be a song!! I know how you feel!! Bit hang in there!! Keep up the great work!! Jess
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Thanks.
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You write very well for a tender age.I will look forward to reading you in the future.
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Very lyrical words you have penned here - sentiments well expressed. Easy to read and understand as well.
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I really like it. I love the triumphant-ness in it lol
<3
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this is how i feel tonight
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tears fall from a heart that only wants to heard in this sometimes world of woe.
If only someone would listen.
I hear you clearly my friend!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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Good.
This is awesome. Good job! I really really like it. -
love it great job
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I loved it!!! You have done a wonderful job writing it!!! just... wow. keep up your amazing work!!!
Shadow -
Wow! This was really good! Especially the fact that you repeated a verse. It was my favorite verse. This was a really great poem, it really brought out a lot of emotion. I felt the pain you were suffering when I read this. I feel the exact same way, too. *hugs* great job on this, keep writing!
~Pandy
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i like this alot.
you are talented.
-yourpalbones
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Thanks for the comment.
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Well I must say that I did enjoy this poem, however I would like to point out two instances which i find...unsettling, that disrupts the flow of your poem. 1) "Waiting for the fight to reside"
This line in stanza 2 and 4 does not coincide with your regular meter in the other stanzas, very bad for flow.
2) Your conclusion is as well unsettling, would it, rather then "mend", be better to say "A heart to beat again"? something that signifies that you will heal without saying it
Otherwise it was a lovely poem! bravo
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you took what i felt right now
like a damn gaurdian angel you
always come to me in a sense when i am
close to not able to handle shit
i feel like this often i am a damn
emotional basket case crap
jewels -
a great write keep up the amazeing work
*~*bee*~* -
wow, I think it's great! I love the rythm and the flow of it, it is read so easily without pause. Great job!
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i like it but u put an e at the end of hand i really liked it it sorta describes how i feel whn im havin an inner battle..great write
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haha thanks for pointing that out. I was like half asleep when I added this.. .so yeah. lol. thanks.
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