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A sore loser's last hand




I had begun to suspect that he'd
been playing me.

You know, the itchy green carpet against
my bare thighs folded in V's,
the half closed biege blinds that
half closed my eyes

And a suckers silent treatment
to wind around myself
with all the impatience of a cobra

Considered himself to have
a real poker face,
even if it was five hundred Rummy
that we were playing on my bedroom floor

He thought he was flattering me,
saying that I was the only one
he ever played with

But 'special' takes on another meaning
when even your mother worries about you
playing cards with someone
she says isn't there

No dealing.

This was the last hand of our game
and he was beating me, right before
I picked up four Aces to pinch a win

He threw his cards spinning into
my desk like dibiliated paper helicopters
that burn, explode on the way down

Stormed out screaming about
cards up sleeves I'm not wearing

A sore loser

And while losing a hand is different
than losing your grip

I don't think I want to play with him anymore.















Author notes

What a fun idea for a contest! Who would have thought to write about an imaginary friend. : )

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • rainwalker
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. Love the idea of playing cards with an imaginary friend. Very cute piece. Thank you for sharing this and good luck!

    -Laura

  • Mirthryl
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    Very entertaining! Loved your lines "Stormed out screaming about cards up sleeves I'm not wearing" and "while losing a hand is different than losing your grip." Very good title.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    March 18
    Edit | Reply

    Very good write here

    This one I read twice it threw me there for a bit


  • Mallig gold member
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    I can see why this won the gold, it's fabulous! A very clever and enjoyable read, and some great imagery.


  • Ludovica
    March 18

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant

    Writing about an invisible friend was definitely a great idea for a contest, and rightly so you won gold. The poem worked in so many ways. I liked the use of cards, comes across to me as almost a mirror on life. If I were him, I'd probably accuse 4 aces of cheating, too. Well done with this!

  • dance for me
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    Well deserved gold here. I don't normally care for humor in poetry but man you do it well. I loved this the best so far.

  • Shamanicmusings gold member
    December 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You well and truly deserved the gold. This is a brilliant original poem with good rhythm to it.
    Well done. Try the Lindt Dark 80% cocoa. Yum.


  • BlackWidow43 silver member
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lol invisible frined? ha... i hadn't realized it was about an invisible person til i saw the contest title. i kinda thought the whole thing had been a metaphor to someone was emotionally not there or something of the sort. nice piece.


  • Dalaney gold member
    December 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You certainly deserved this gold!
    I had so much fun reading your poem,
    I forget it was...a poem Loved it.

    Lane


  • DolphinLass silver member
    December 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow great write I was taken in and thought your friend was real at first, congrats on gold


  • unbroken record gold member
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "no dealing"

    wow. this is excellent stuff. that line alone gave me plenty to think about. no dealing with yourself/ your mother cannot deal with you/ hinting at a deeper psychosis, whatever. it was great. and so was the rest of the poem.

    . Rewarded 4

    • luvdrkchocolate
      December 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! Actually the no dealing was a play about the cards but it also was a metaphor for my mother. You're really smart. Thanks for such a great comment.

  • Melodies silver member
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Right! Just turn your back on him.

    I really admire your take on having an invisible friend. Actually, I think we might all benefit from having an invisible friend. It would be somebody to talk to and do all the things to... that nobody else will tolerate. Like I could sing and recite poetry to my invisible friend. Love your poem! Cards... so clever!


  • Anne Marie
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow!the flow and imagery are spot on! it was filled with so much emotion it painted pictures in my mind.

    Lovely poem to have read!
    xx

    . Rewarded 4


  • Emile
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very good

    You paint a picture with words that bring your memories alive in the reader's mind, and we too can appreciate your world filled with imagination and a spark of remembrance that calms the heart and allows a smile. The words seemed to flow effortlessly and the imagery created an atmosphere of understanding that brought the whole scene to life in my mind. The story was realistically portrayed within a sad and disenchanted beat as make-believe is questioned and its existence is no longer a sure thing.

1 - 21 of 21