To me he always loved a fight
so quietly I shut the door,
closing the misted windows tight
worried if people heard or saw.
The candlelight cast shadows round
he irritably rubbed his head,
we both sat down and made no sound
he grabbed the book that I had read.
His caloused hand flicked back each page
a blanked out face a frozen look,
my tome showed signs of use and age
he saw it was a holy book.
Though angered he could say no more
my knees were stone cold lips shut tight,
he flung my book down on the floor
this was a truly ugly sight.
The candle now was finally done
it died before the morning came,
in early light through shards of sun
I felt the stab of guilt and shame.
He turned his eyes away from mine
the fight had gone there was no more,
I knew that I had crossed the line
he walked toward the stable door.
The dust kicked up he rode away
harsh sun above was burning dry,
I wished so much for words to stay
with head bowed low I could not cry.
Author notes
The Wall
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 6 The Wall - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended August 1, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Thank you for your entry in our contest, I for one hope this is fictitious, a good story, well told. The rhyme scheme is good, but the meter goes awry in a couple of places.
All the best ... Sue and Jeff
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A sad story woven into a wonderful poem that drew me in from start to finish well done good luck in the contest Brian.
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Wow... Like the portion of a movie you happen to catch somewhere in between I don't completely understand this but find it very interesting! Thank you 4 sharing.. <3 Alex
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Another superb piece Hilly and this is also one you could take on and build a story, it feels like it should go on, I wanted it to go on.
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You have lovely flow throughout this poem. The images are very sad and I didn’t understand why someone should be angered by the Holy book but I guess there is more behind this poem than has actually been said. What ever the reasons behind it I think this type of situation where people reach a point of anger and not talking, is something that many people experience in their life and I think you’ve made an excellent job of portraying how easily relationships can be broken while no real explanation is given.
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This poem is hard to comment on, because I don't really know if by seeing the holy book that was being read whether if it offended him or was it because of his non belief? Either way the rhyme scheme is very good and this is a though provoking poem to say the least. Thanks for sharing it with me...
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Excellent Work !!
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