(A homage to those old Victorian sentimental ballads - they may not be Art but, sod it, I like 'em)
In years to come, when I am old
and you are far away;
when all is grey that once was gold
and twilight dims the day:
when I see tears where youth saw gems
shine in dawn's early dew,
I shall find comfort then, my love,
when I remember you.
I shall remember you, my dear,
when evening stars grow dim
and only one, still shining clear
through life's dark interim,
shall guide my heart when faith of Youth
by Age is shown untrue.
And, in the light of your still star,
I shall remember you.
Should hunger steal the strength I need
to face my final day,
for food nor favour shall I plead,
do hunger as it may.
What fears have I of hunger, love,
or of what death may do?
For I will find that strength, my love,
when I remember you.
I'll recall your tenderness,my love,
when life wanes dark and cold.
Nor shall I love you less, my love,
because the world is old.
Though all the world grow old, my love,
the days when life was new
will be the days I'm thinking of
when I remember you.
Author notes
OPTION # 3
A contest entry
- A Trouboudour's Love Story by Lord Judgment.
310 points, ended January 28, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 5 options for the creative poet (19) by bananasfoster42.
900 points, ended February 6, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PW Party by Blooming Poet.
425 points, ended July 23, 157 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Romantic Poetry * picture inspired by ennovy.
700 points, ended June 27, 17 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Remember You by celadia.
600 points, ended June 19, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sing to me by Darkwell.
450 points, ended June 23, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Selfish Me. by Poetryintheblood.
425 points, ended September 16, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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I love what you have done with this but it is not old enough to be a cliché.
Metaphorically it covers many grounds but what I am/was looking for was out and out Smoltz.
Thank you however for entering my little comp and best of luck with all you do
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This is quite beautiful, and I very much enjoyed reading and getting entwined within it's beauty, thank you and good luck in my contest, Josie
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i think that this was very deep! great work! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox
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this piece is a triumph of message an vision wrapped in love
i love the references between young an old (grey an gold, tears an gems)
i think my favorit part is
What fears have I of hunger, love,
or of what death may do?
For I will find that strength, my love,
when I remember you.
Awesome an i dont know what old Victorian sentimental ballads are but im sure old Victorians would be proud of this too
Good luck in the contest ^.^
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A song of true love. Beautifully written, I felt like I was reading one of the old masters. Thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest.
Novy & Brazos -
This is fantastic, this is professional quality, you should try to publish this.
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Many thanks, Celadia, your kind comment much appreciated.
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Beautifully penned, romantic ballard. Thank you for entering our contest....
novy & Brazos
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I like this. It is so wonderful. You penned an amazing poem here. A lot of questions in here, that I am not sure really have annswers at all. I like the theme here, you captured it very well.
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this was a very gorgeous poem you penned her a whole lot of thoughts and emotions you put in to this thanks for sharing
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Very Beautiful!!
thanks for entering
darlintlc -
Thank you for your lovely entry , good luck in my contest, Josie
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This was really good .. the image that you created had a Victorian feel to it, and it was really romantic..At least I thought so.. You did a really good job with this piece.. well done.
Best of luck..
Angel
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This is very sweet and unique!
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I love it, it's exactly what I was asking for. Thanks for your entry and good luck to you.
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absolutely wonderful!
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Unique
Very different and interesting, good write -
I adore this piece it's quite lovely. I struggle a little bit with the 1st line of the last stanza. Two syllables too many. But flawless otherwise. Bravo
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Hi. Thanks for your appreciative comment. You're right about line 1 of the last stanza but, until I can dream up a way of resolving it, I have to let it stand. Thanks again my friend. jimmy
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Nice i get that Victorian feeling
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Great
I love it, but us old guys are suckers for these kind of poems.
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Awesome...
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Nicely written, soft but packs a punch
Very reminiscent of songs my grandparents would recite to me as a child. Most fave bit "when I see tears where youth saw gems" your insight is harsh but so true.
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I'm with Jeff on this one. This is soft, mellow and the words just roll off the tongue, effortlessly.
Thank you for posting this and allowing us to read it....Sue
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You are cheating sir!
You set a high bar with a poem so I aim high then you jump clear over my new target.
What a lovely poem, no, much better than that. Treacly sentiment delivered with perfection, love poetry of the very very highest order. If you write something this good in our finale who is going to make the judges job hard!
Bravissima!
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