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"Hitchhiker...(EXTREME ADULT CONTENT)

 

Friends...

 

She had too many friends,

10 Dollar, 20 Dollar, 50 Dollar Bills 

and all of them knew the score. 

 

"She was a whore" 

 

But she would always be watching

every step, every movement they made.

Calculating and stalking her prey,
like all the rest that she had slaughtered before.
Never leaving anything to chance
always preparing for her next killing spree.

 

Her twisted mind had already witnessed

the power which lay dormant in her darkness.

 

"A street wise cat...that was stroked once too often?"

 

But what made her snap,

maybe the violent beatings from her sexual clients? 

ever-way she would still blow them, one way or another.

 

Hitchhiking was the method to execute her fantasies

putting into motion her murderous intentions.

 

Long distance lorry drivers, or just perverts

on the look out for some cheap thrills.

She didn't mind, she was not bothered,

who the clients were, or where they came from.

 

No man would ever turn a blind eye

to a stunning women and she knew it...

 

"She was fit, she was well fit"

 

Long blond hair, 36 / 24 / 36...Statistics!

 

Come to bed eyes with her colt 45

dressed to thrill, when she's dressed to kill.

 

She would hitch a ride, anytime she pleased,

her unsuspecting victims would always be gob smacked

by her beauty, or by the thought of it's their lucky day!

 

With her long legs and short mini skirt,

she quickly managed to stop a lorry in it's tracks.

 

HI DARLING, NEED A LIFT?

 

Jumping into the Lorry,

she would slowly start opening the 'trap'

 

Temptation was the main tool she would use,

as she slowly parted her legs, revealing her earthly goods!

Her pungent fragrances, mixed with her womanly charms

would quickly engulf the cabin, invading the victims senses.

 

She smiled,

and watched for his reactions to her first invitation.

 

His quickening breath, and shaking hands, 

was enough to indicate to her, that he was 'GAME'.

she slowly inched closer to him, and placed one hand

on his leg, then started caressing his manhood.

 

"STEADY...STEADY DARLING...I'M DRIVING"

 

She had heard these same words so many times before. 

 

Watching his Levi Jeans bulge with excitement, 

she quickly unzipped his member from its cage.

 

Slowly working him up and down, up and down, 

until his monster was ready to be blown off the planet.

She grabs his rock hard cock in her tiny hands

and lowers her ruby lips down onto his bell-end.

 

She was now in total control...and knew it!

 

"DARLING...DARLING...LET ME PULL OVER"

 

He slams on his brakes and pulls into a dusty lay-bye

 

She continues on her mission giving him deep-throat

faster and faster down the length of his member. 

He sighs with pleasure, unbuttoning his shirt.

 

"SLOWDOWN...DARLING...I WANT TO FUCK YOU"

 

Thoughts now rushing through her mind,

a mouth full of Cock and a Colt 45.

 

She eases off his shaft and wipes her lips.

 

While he slowly pulls his jeans down to his ankles,

getting himself ready for another service of pleasure.

 

HAVE YOU GOT ANY PROTECTION?

 

"NO DARLING...I HAVEN'T COMES HIS REPLY"

 

She smiles...I didn't think so.

 

Reaching for her handbag she then produces a condom

opens it up and puts it into her mouth, still smiling at him.

 

Lowering her mouth back down onto his twitching cock,

she slowly inches the condom over his manhood

all the way down to the very bottom of his shaft.

 

"AGAIN SHE WAS IN TOTAL CONTROL"

 

Watching him groan with pleasure whilst sucking his cock

she now prepares herself for her final onslaught of pleasure.

 

"HE NEVER KNEW HE HAD IT...CUMIN"

 

Pushing the lever on the reclining chair she pushes it back,

and quickly mounts him, sliding her hot pussy over his throbbing cock.

 

Watching the ecstasy of her expertise light up his perverted face.

He slowly shuts his eyes and enjoys the ride moaning with pleasure,

he was totally oblivious to what lay ahead.

 

With one hand free she gently reaches for her bag

pulling out her beautiful colt 45...

 

"WAKE UP FUCKER...IT'S TIME TO DIE"

 

Still fucking him like a banshee, she shoots him straight between the eyes,

and lets off two more rounds into his quivering chest.

Covered in blood she continues to fuck his lifeless corpse

until she finally "Cums her muck"

 

"Like all Her victims before

she would always leave them stiff..."

 

 

 

 

Author notes

OPTION #2:
Give me your dark.

2.) A poem/Song about the darker things in life. I'll allow depression,suicide,murder. Any of those things.


**EXTREME ADULT CONTENT**

"!!!RAINBOWS AND STUFF!!!"

~~Options~~:

*1.Something dark. Anything that will send chills down my spine.


A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 209     1 2 3  next >  (show all)

  • HomeGrown
    2 days ago
    Edit | Reply
    This still blows me away...

    Had to come back to bookmark it.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on your many trophies, they are well deserved, this is a wonderful piece. I have commented on this before so I will just say thank you for entering the contest, good luck.


    whisper
  • far out this is amazing.. im speechless

  • PoeticLove
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    HOLY DEADNESS,
    so much for the old saying...a dead lay,
    this also was sick...
    where does your mind sleep?

    Very powerful, it's like visions romping in the mind.


  • HomeGrown
    October 14

    Edit | Reply

    Where to start...?



    a mouth full of Cock and a Colt 45.

    Oh...

    My...

    GOD!

    This was great, and I'm starting to wonder how I got gold over two amazing poems with so many trophies... This was just the ticket, poet, and I highly enjoyed it.

  • November-Dani
    October 14

    Edit | Reply
    Hehe my kind of poem. Well done. You have an incredible imagination. Thankyou so for entering and best of luck.
    Dani.

    • Timespell
      October 14
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much for awarding my entry with the Bronze Trophy! Glad it got in your head in a nice sort of way.

      All the best

      ~T.S~

  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    This is very bonechilling. I think you have painted a very vivid and haunting picture in the eye of your readers. Best of luck to you in the contest, and you get a vote from me.

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**
  • A deep haunting piece this.

  • StormGoddess Greeters member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    I have found very few people on here that can write a short story and write it well. You have far exceeded that. This is vivid with detail, allowing total imagery to come forward as reading it. May not be what everyone gets into, but you definitely wrote it with excellence.

    Storm


  • HauntedByDesire
    October 9

    Edit | Reply

    oh wow

    i can see why this piece you have written has won so many awards! and without a doubt it deserved each and every one of them! this is exceptional! i loved it! captured me from start to finish, so much imagry! like others have said before me, creepily it turned me on!! fantastic write! keep up the great work!
    ~Haunted~


    • Timespell
      October 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks,
      He he he, It still makes me laugh when I read it...ha!

  • Intense -- powerful ~ An amazing write ~ The only thing with this I would even offer as a suggestions -[and I don't normally offer it...] but I think that some of the lines in "...." [quotes] was already understood ~ but, then I started thinking of why you put quotes around it as its being said... [I comment as I read along...]

    I carried my mind deeper ~ and stronger ~ until reaching the impediamy of the darkness that is within this right... how eerie.... I could hear it being said.

    Nice job ~ I enjoyed reading your work ~ it was a welcome pleasure to read your work

    Best of luck to you...
    florida Sunshine


    • Timespell
      October 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks,

      I suppose I am the Fly on the Wall, with a bubble message looking on as the Narrator... sort of thing. To be Honest, it sort of wrote itself. I was there watching everything and typing it all down, Ha ha ha.

  • Ntagatf
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    holy shit. damn i love this!!!! kinda turned me on in a freakishly way. lol anyway this is a great write, Thank you soo much for entering this into my contest, wish you the best of luck. Keep up the great work!

  • Quill Bill gold member
    September 14
    Edit | Reply
    a good read but it's not poem,

  • HereComesTheSun
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    iv read this before and am very happy to have this in my contest fits the bill and i see why you win many awards an overall stunning and creepy poem.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    Holy Guacamole... this was not what I was expecting I guess, nice story telling you do with this piece, not at all my cup of tea but very well written, best to you
  • wow this is very different i love it, it oddly turned me on then again anything with murder and erotic in does that, this truly is amazing time your an amazing dark writer
    all my love thanks for entering
    kitty xxx
  • lol wow....this was great! it was very fun to read and definatly shocking
    xoxo- christina


  • XpushXmeXagainX
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    This caught me.
    And held me until the bitter end.
    It's amazing.
    Thanks for entering and good luck.

  • xrain dancerx
    August 11
    Edit | Reply
    awesome job! u used dak sexy and scary. thanx for entering and good luck!
    *hugs* tay.

  • peregrin
    July 31
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice....
    thank you for entering my contest!
    Best of luck!
  • "Thoughts now rushing through her mind,
    a mouth full of Cock and a Colt 45."


    "HE NEVER KNEW HE HAD IT...CUMIN"

    "Like all Her victims before
    she would always leave them stiff..."

    This was an amazing piece that was definitly intense to say the least. I absolutley loved the brutality. It reminds me of a book i once read, not to mention "monster". Happened here in florida.lol

    The fem inside of me, screams to this.

    Wondeful.Btw, i pin pointed my favorite parts. Yesss

    Thank you and good luck.

  • Holy Crap

    This piece sounds like a scene from a movie. This piece, while disturbing, captures the reader and won't let go.

  • LadyOfFate
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    a very distrubing and erotic piece. nicely done. not sure if it is prostute, but it kinda is. it is a sexual murderer except she is no longer getting paid. good luck
  • good damn son that was twisted! it reminds me of the bitch is back by sinergy! lol wow your deffinatly a finalist
  • Titus gold member
    June 19
    Edit | Reply
    Story of her seedy life and life style, much went into this to depict someone who may have not had the good start in life,which is all of ours really. I feel it is, and how many times we've been used I guess, very sad. Ignoring the erotic I was not, the lust in this, are lost hopes and having never been satisfied.

  • well damn...this was fantastic! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox
  • *applause*

  • Now that was fucking toatally awsome great write good luck in the conest


  • I Am Gun
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    this was gorgeous.simply amazing
    I love the imagery it held me the second I started reading...great job and keep writing

  • i loved this i usually dont like reading long stories like this but once i got started i had 2 keep reading awesome write i look forward 2 reading more by you great write

  • I am normally unable to read such long poems, but I loved this. Wow.

  • Wow!
    Awesome write!

  • newnoakua
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... that was really good. I really enjoyed the story, and the character herself. lol.
    I'm gonna ask you to put the option in your notes for my contests though...

    Good luck in the contest!

  • crazymomma
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my this was sooo funny! Unless it is a true story then not so much. I really enjoyed reading this. That actually says a lot because normally I'd get bored before reading something this long.

  • Heh. Amazing. I must say. Well done. This was told more like a story, and less in poetic form at... It really didn't have any flow or anything like that --- though it really needed none.
    Nice.
  • "Come to bed eyes with her colt 45
    dressed to thrill, when she's dressed to kill." I'd wear a shirt with that on it if they made them, and that's a compliment coming from me. X] Wonderful story-telling, and the touch of humour at the end rounded this off very nicely. Great writing!

    Best of luck and thanks for entering!

  • this is awsome and i love the whole story within this kept me grpped with the imagery. well done with you

  • I like the majority of this story, especially the dialogue, you have written a very believable dialogue. The first thing I thought of was Aileen Wournos (from Monster), but only because she was a trick turning serial killer, that's where the similarities end. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.


    whisper

  • nobodys-girl
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    oh my gosh this is dark! but soo freakin amazing! i absolutly loved it! haha maybe because im a perve but whatever. thankyou so much for ntering my contest and best of luck!

  • Wearychild
    April 10

    Edit | Reply
    You know.... this sort of reminds me of that movie Monster. I really like the poem, because I really like the movie. I don't know if you've seen it but it seems like it. Great job and thanks for entering!

  • ian sawicki silver member
    April 10
    Edit | Reply

  • "A streetwise cat...that was stroked once too often?"

    That line was my favourite... It just added to the eerie atmosphere that you were going for. Well done, and good luck!

  • "Like all Her victims before

    she would always leave them stiff..."


    I liked this very much. Awesome story.
    Thank you for the entry and good luck to you

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**

  • pink-roses gold member
    April 5
    Edit | Reply
    this sounds a lot like the story in the film monster. Like it though.

    • Timespell
      April 5
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my story. I have not watch the movie your referring too, so I wouldn't know. But I am glad you liked this.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • dhamma
    April 5
    Edit | Reply

    engrossing

    ahhh. I couldn't stop reading. excellent climax, in every sense of the word.


    • Timespell
      April 5
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... Glad you found this story to your liking!

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • dillpickle62
    March 31

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Shit!

    Lucky for me I have a gun rack with a 12 ga on the back window of my truck. Also a diving knife in the side board of my door. hahahaha.... This is an awesome write!
    Best luck in the contest.


    • Timespell
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      Hehehe... That maybe true, but when you have a loaded Gun that's when you would be more willing to partake in her advances! I don't think you would have time to reach for a knife in the height of passion. There would only be one thing on your mind. And getting shot by a stunning bird, would not be one of them...LOL

      Thanks for reading and commenting, I'm glad you liked my little tale.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Still Hers
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    Wow never really was in to the erotica poems but the way she kills people its insanely awsome. very good right This should definately win the gold for you.


    • Timespell
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... Like I have said to a few other people, this little story does appeal to a vast majority of people. Maybe it's sympathy for the Hitchhiker and her traumatic life style. Ever way most people enjoyed the tale.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • jamiedoring gold member
    March 30

    Edit | Reply
    Holy crap! What do I say after that?

    Im slightly ashamed and concerned by how much I LOVED it.

    Seriously talented doesnt even begin to cover it...Engrossing....Horrifying....Appaling....yet like a train wreck no chance to look away.

    Thank you tremendously for entering this twisted beauty into my contest.


    • Timespell
      March 31
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... I am just glad that it appealed to you,

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • LaylaLace
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this graphic poem! It was imaginative and delightfully sleezy!
    You just may be a new source of inspiration. Thank you for sharing this!

    . Rewarded 4


    • Timespell
      March 29
      Edit | Reply
      Damn... you look like my wife! And its all beautiful.
      But apart from that thanks for commenting.LOL

      All the best,

      ~T.S~




  • Creatress
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    where did this come from. If your not a prostitute, clearly you had a past life as one. this is a very vivd story, written very well.
    pen on poet,
    creatress

    • Timespell
      March 29
      Edit | Reply
      I like your philosophy, 100% for the the thinkers friend....!!
      H'm m, maybe I got fucked over in my past life?
      Ever way I thought I'd let you know!!!!
      ha-ha-ha...theres no freedom

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • A fresh spin on an overdone topic.

    You shed a whole new light on why it's imperative to never give rides to hikers, lol. This is a wonderful piece. I love the development you were able to attain in such a short time. It was smooth to a point, granted there were a few rocky places, but I quickly saw that they were necessary to the plot. I loved the ending, though it was hinted at from the very beginning.
    This has to be one of the best integrations of short story and prose that I've ever read. It had a rhythm to it, but at the same time, it carried far more than just a simple theme or topic. It was a star of its category (as hard to place as that may be).
    Now, for the organized commentary:
    1: I enjoyed the imagery. As disturbing as it may have been, I could actually see the story as it was unfolding in my mind. Terrific usage of descriptors.
    2: Puns. I'm not a huge fan, and while it was great for the laugh track, it detracted ever so slightly from the story. Still, there were cute, and not completely obtrusive.
    3: Finally, I can see that you had fun with this one. You seem to have a certain tainted-ness to your writing. It's very provocative, and extremely captivating. You are a credit to similar writers, and a guide to those who aspire to have this skill.

    Terrific job, and best of luck in the contest!

    • Timespell
      March 27
      Edit | Reply
      First of all...

      Thanks for the great critic, thats always the most important thing for any writer to actually receive, from another poet. I can tell by your comment you was in the zone of the character so to speak
      Yes I did have a lot of fun writing this story, and probably got a bit carried away myself. Maybe my humorous side is showing a bit to much in this write. But I suppose we write what we write and run with it!

      Once again thanks for the great comment and feedback you've left me, much appreciated.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • this had me rolling reminded me of my recent piece son of a bitch this was worth the read i loved this thanks for entering

    • Timespell
      March 27
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on this piece. Thanks for awarding this story with the HM.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~




  • Elenaliz
    March 15

    Edit | Reply
    i like this.its a good story.reminds me of aileen wornos.it was like reading a penthouse letter up untill the end.one thing i didint like so much was the rhyming in and out and i think you used the word cock too much but over all its good.

    • Timespell
      March 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... Yes I suppose you could say that, but to be honest I could take this bit out, and that bit out etc, etc. But it would never have the same impact IMO. The main thing I would say about this write is, it appeals to many people one way or another. Which is the main purpose of writing.

      Thanks for reading and commenting on my story.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • Gotta love that ending:

    "Like all Her victims before

    she would always leave them stiff..."

    That made me smile, almost laugh out loud. Good write. The beginning was excellent, the way you shaped her character. I like the little interjections, the "street wise cat who was stroked too often" was great.

    Somehow, the sex scene seemed a bit overdone. I don't know, its not that it offended me or any crap like that, I read that stuff all the time- but it wasn't that erotic to me, seemed a bit tedious, almost. Like the part about the condom- it didn't seem necessary, and just kind of slowed down the poem for me. I was impatient at that point to get to the killing- I know, I'm one sick puppy. :-)

    Overall, good, congratulations on the trophies, and thanks for entering!

    • Timespell
      March 13
      Edit | Reply
      Hehehe...

      I have put certain things in there for the laugh factor... I mean would a Serial Killer perform safe sex? Unless it was of course to lure her victim in to a safe sense of security. Which this was trying to do. As for the sex scene, well she was a prostitute so she would know all the tricks of the trade' so to speak to put the "Trap" in to action. And again the part about the Condom, this is just expressing how she was in total control of her victim. With out him realizing it.

      Thanks again for reading and for your in depth comment, much appreciated.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • Wow. This is some story poem that you have going on here. You weren't kidding when you titled it that it was extreme adult. It was interesting though. And very graphic. It looks like lots of other people really got into it too. I bet they watch lots of horror movies and you just gave them another one!

    • Timespell
      March 10
      Edit | Reply
      Hehehe... Well I am glad you liked it, that's the main thing.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~