See how that ballet master, Summer's breeze,
makes the flower garden dance to show
whichever way his shifting fancies blow.
Softly he begins with bowing trees,
then feather-headed grasses bend their knees
and dip low curtsies to the peonies.
Beside the path the tall anemones
now bob and sway together, pansies prance
And there, against the sky, the lofty fir
and solemn laurel have begun to stir
and bend their boughs in a pensive pas-de-deux
and all the garden moves in gentle dance.
The wind dies down, then, with a sudden gust
that sends dead leaves a-skitter in the dust,
the airy maestro forces up the pace -
see how the dead leaves pirouette, then race
tap-dancing 'cross the path while, all about,
the garden's in a wildly dancing rout
of thrashing leaves, tossed blooms and petals blown
that now, at last, fall still. The breeze has gone.
A contest entry
- Dancing Dancers' Dances (Twenty Lines or Less!) by Sadistic Lavender.
300 points, ended January 14, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DANCE with your words by ladame.
510 points, ended July 2, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Dancing is a sweat job"(Fred Astaire) by Daizy21.
600 points, ended July 7, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For My Mummy Poetryintheblood. by PoetryPuppy.
425 points, ended October 7, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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a beautiful poem your imagery is wondeful good luck in the contest
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thank you for your beautiful poem, love Kiarna
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You have a talent for penning beautiful poetry...this was so brilliantly thought off!Well done my friend!Good luck!
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Nice imagery, e.g. the low curties. You have given this a musical flavour which I like and there is a moody feeling about the garden in this piece. Quite realistic.
Thank you for entering my contest. -
I love nature poems so much. I find it so deeply inspiring and beautiful. And this piece you have here is exactly just as beautiful and inspiring. Excellent!! GL in contest.
Shouldn't be it be under 15 lines though, for the summer time nature contest?
Blessed be
-Blanche
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wow
very pretty picture,descriptive and scenic tour of your world of nature, thank you for this entry,good luck
Lin
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Faith restored.
WONDERFUL! This is fantastic - brilliant use of steps mixed with flowers. Great use of rhythm.
I'm thorougly impressed.
Thank you so much.
Sarah
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How delightfull archaic!
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Hi. Thanks (I think). jimmy
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I really love this one.
Very descriptive,I love how the grass heads bow to the peonies. I love the wind and use it in my poetry a lot.
I love to walk in it, day or night.
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Beautiful, felt myself walking through the garden...
mystery
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Hi. That's really nice of you. Your comment very much appreciated. Cheers, jimmy
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Reading your poem was a bonus--two stanzas in different styles, no less. The first, in sonnet form, impressed me with some ambitious rhyming (triplets, my God!) and the second, in rhyming couplets , was equally impressive. And let's not forget the content, which is spot on!
Excellent work,
Bill
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Hi Bill. Thanks for your appreciative critique. I'm more than pleased that you enjoyed the piece. Cheers, jimmy
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beautiful!
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Thanks. Have now edited it down to 21 lines (still one more line to lose to fit the contest rules) and I think it's an improvement. jimmy
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Liked the breeze choreographer idea
Imagery so very pretty
Of frolicking floral activity.
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Cheers mate. jimmy
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