Her kiss a matchless grace is
A gem to crown the Moon.
Her golden hair is stunning,
Huge eyes are filled with cunning,
Her hair in pearls and lace is,
She swims the blue lagoon.
Her kiss a matchless grace is
A gem to crown the Moon.
I watch her swim the pale reef
When night brings on the dark.
I hear her sweet voice singing,
With magic words she’s bringing
An end to pain and stale grief,
She rules the ray and shark.
I watch her swim the pale reef
When night brings on the dark.
She is the child of water,
Born deep and magically.
My love she seeks to chasten,
Though I am fain to hasten
My passion for this daughter
Born of this deep blue sea.
She is the child of water,
Born deep and magically.
And now I have grown weary,
The ocean claims its own.
New grief has grown a flower,
With sordid evil power,
For all my days are dreary
My happiness has flown,
And now I have grown weary,
The ocean claims its own.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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love the background by the way. I think you did well with the imagery. And it flows well. I say good job
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BEAUTIFUL
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simply awesome!
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Another great effort of yours basking in the rarified rays of the A.P. "Spotlight". Congrats on having it so honored!
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Nicely penned!
This was just so beautiful. The flow, the imagery, everything about it! Thank you for sharing this lovely read!
"She is the child of water,
Born deep and magically.
My love she seeks to chasten,
Though I am fain to hasten
My passion for this daughter
Born of this deep blue sea.
She is the child of water,
Born deep and magically."
^^ I loved that stanza!
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This is beautiful, and heart breaking sad.
It has a wonderful flow, and a story to tell.
It makes me want to dream of mermaids and moon gem things. Well done.
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Compelling
I love the flow to this poem. Ironic seaing as as it's about the ocean... seaing - get it? -
"I watch her swim the pale reef
When night brings on the dark."
There's something in those lines I rather love..
It has a sad softness of tone. Haunting poem.
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A sad sad story that reminds me of an early rock n' roll ditty called "the Endless Sleep." Nicely done and a compelling read. Happy trails.
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Excellent work Michael. It reminds me of Poe's "Annabelle Lee." Same flavor and feel.
You have a Victorian soul.
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Beautiful as I have come to expect my friend. I love the form. The tale, the tone, the soft voice...Truly truly beautiful.
~Pamela 
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I enjoyed this form and the reiteration of the first two lines as the last two. The ocean claims its own is a wonderful thought of how life is ever changing with or without OUR permission.
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Ah-the language and skill here are so bewitching, you have such a talent with rhyming I forget it does whilst reading, as the tale sweeps me up in its wake.
sad, but then, you do sad so well.
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So beautiful. I love how you always have such nice schemes.
"Her kiss a matchless grace is
A gem to crown the Moon."
I was wondering if this might read better as "Her kiss - a matchless grace - is?"
Just a thought.
I feel like each of your poems ought to have a painting done just for them. They are very vivid and inspiring.
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Wow, this was completely amazing! I was captivated from the very first stanza, and I love the different style of rhyming you used in this. Wonderful selection of words, too. I especially like the ending, and the way that certain lines are repeated later in a stanza is very powerful and gives a reader the feeling of witnessing something great.
Oh, and Euse? I liked the way the background matched your poem.
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Ah, fine Sir, your emotions and descriptions are stunning. The ending is so sad.
I wished he might steal away with her in some magical way. 
Be my Valentine.
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"New grief has grown a flower" loved that line. a very old fashioned poem. quite enchanting.
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Very interesting rhyme scheme. Is this any particular form? Reminds me of a sonnet. I love how the repetition succeeds in emphasizing certain parts of the poem without becoming verbose. Not bad at all sir! ~SI
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Superb
Wow, a bit on the sad side, yet definitly you've expressed yourself in your usual excellant manner.
Hope all is well with you.
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Veyr well expressed and very original in overall context!
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This is quite beautiful. I enjoyed it. A little sad but lovely.
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Beautiful piece. Images leap forth from the page captivating ones mind and soul. I always think of the ocean as her or mistress...weaved within hearts and minds. Lulling us with its simplistic beauty but captivating with tales unknown beneath many miles of ocean blue. You have done a wonderful job as always my friend. The last stanza is sad but in time we all age and pass, our time short lived as she grows on forever...luring another with her mystic song and timeless tales. Bravo...
. Rewarded 8
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its so... magical. so mystic.
i love that. amazing read.
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Stunning Michael. I love this. Well done, an amazing piece, full of imagination.
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The ocean claims its own- I prefer to think of it as a "her"... she claims her own and even some that don't belong to her. "She" will draw you in with magic and wonder and show you a glimpse of her mysteries... and when your heart is all a flutter, she reminds us who she really is and how dark and mighty she can be...
Yes, that line- that single line inspired a whole nother line of thought.
I love that in a poem.
This is lovely- you never fail to amuse and delight. Your form- flawless. What I really appreciate about your writing is that nothing ever feels forced, there isn't a superfluous word to be found, and the rhythm of your work makes it a pleasure to read aloud.
This is thoughtful, sad, with a little bit of magic thrown in- and I enjoyed it thoroghly.
Cheers, friend.
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It's been quite a while since I read you and it is remiss of me to do so because your rhyme and flow and vivid imagery are stunning. I enjoyed this emotive piece to the mermaid of your heart. Love, C
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Outstanding!!!!!
Just stellar. Excellent rhyme scheme applied to a beautiful, sad, painting...Bravo!!!! I do so love good poetry!
. Rewarded 4
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this is beautiful, magical and sad. Powerful, plain words that roll majestically along with the story. The form suits the tale, the repetition of lines neatly tieing each stanza together. Great write.
. Rewarded 4
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