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In Retrospect

My journey has been long, I've wandered far.

Now, in the fading light, I rest and turn

and looking back across the evening scene

can see from whence I've come but, in between,

my track's now lost in dintless fields of green.

 

But, gazing longer, I can see the tree

at which I turned and, there, the hill I climbed

and, closer still, that stile I stumbled o'er.

And so, from mark to mark, I can redraw

the track that I have trod - can now see clear 

the pattern of the path that's brought me here.

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Poetryintheblood
    June 2
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    Thank you for your entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
  • Yvette Champ
    March 7

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    The poet writes rhyme effortlessly so that it flows naturally. A philosophical piece of poetry which includes the poets penchant for artistry with the inclusion of references of Mark to Mark and Redraw. Indeed we are not given a map to plot our course so when we have gone off course we see in retrospect those paths that if only they had been erased would not have caused us to lose our way. Neat.


  • Dave Powell
    March 7

    Edit | Reply
    I had to read this poem several times. While some of the words used in the poem are archaic, I do not think they detract from the pleasure from the read. You have managed to succinctly lay out and ponder a life time in two stanzas. Well done!


  • Blooming Poet Greeters member
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    Looking back and analyzing is a great thing to do and in so few lines, that takes talent, your muse is really up and running in this poem. Thanks fo sharing. Fav part:


    can see from whence I've come but, in between,

    my track's now lost in dintless fields of green

  • Piccola gold member
    January 15

    Edit | Reply
    I like this. Reminds me somewhat of Frost I think. The rhyme is unique and I like it. Thank you for entering.

  • Sagerider
    January 13

    Edit | Reply

    Very good.

    It leaves a vivid visual picture. I hope when you look forward, you can see a long way ahead where the path is smooth and the sun is warm.


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for sharing and keep up the writing!

  • poppyday
    January 9
    Edit | Reply

    Lovely poem Jimmy

    It sounds like an revealing exercise to try. I liked your word"dintless" what does it mean?


    • jimmy20johns gold member
      January 9
      Edit | Reply
      Hi mate. Dintless means unmarked (originally: 'dent less'}. Glad you liked it.

  • cricketjeff gold member
    January 9
    Edit | Reply
    Different, thoughtful reflective metaphorical, suits the unusual rhyming scheme. Back on top form!


  • Rhyming From Rehab
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    excellent poem, and yes I think time has a way of doing this to a soul. Thank you for sharing ...blessings always~ Trisha~

1 - 13 of 13