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A Suicide's Soliloquy

Death is naked everywhere -
a prostitute is she.
I stand atop the steepest stair
and see her beckon me.
Her venom milk-ed breasts are bare,
a loop-ed noose twined from her hair
hangs from my balcony.

I breathe the vapours of her breath -

she pillows now my head,

I hear the gas-jets hiss - thus Death,

her part accomplish-ed,

lies still. I leave the tarnished coin of life upon the bed. 

Author notes

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    July 4

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    Wow... This is pretty creepy, and more than deserving of that other gold shiny thing. This is the kind of stuff that makes one's breath catch in the throat, and one must stop to say, 'wow, that was amazing'. Well done, and good luck in the contest!

    Laura x


  • LullabyxxDreamer
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    very good write, well done
    good luck!

  • RX-Queen
    June 10
    Edit | Reply
    Great write, it's very well written. I really enjoyed this, Thanx for entering and good luck!

  • Blooming Poet Greeters member
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, powerful poem about death, you made great use of the short poem style and packed a punch her of emotions and sadness. Thank you. Love this line especially:


    I leave the tarnished coin of life upon the bed.

  • CaliOkie silver member
    January 25
    Edit | Reply

    Stunning

    Your command of the form, which is perfect for this application, your rhythm and rhyme pattern, and your excellent use of the language demonstrate your talent and skill.

    When it come to poetry, some people got it and some people don't. You got it -- and it's in this poem.


  • Mrs.Poe
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    this is excellent. I see this to be a famous poem. I love the flow and the rhyme. Really nice and hard at the same time. A write hidden with so many creative imagery. It is ovious that their is personifcation which gives the poem more depth and thought.

  • davidwright silver member
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    Suicide gives me the shivers - good write though. Keep a good thought. Davi

  • poppyday
    January 13
    Edit | Reply

    Woops,forgot applause


  • poppyday
    January 13
    Edit | Reply

    I was pleas-ed with your po-em

    I enjoyed the imagery and the manipulation of rhythm with the split words.

  • Sagerider
    January 13
    Edit | Reply

    dark, dark, dark.

    It is dark indeed. Well written but so dark I may not sleep tonight.


  • Romily
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    The Personification of Death was really amazing and picturesque.The style is also unique and perfect. A very good writing.

  • lovelydesdemona
    January 11

    Edit | Reply

    VERY nice

    I have never read Death impersonated in such a way, and it pleases me. This poem is very different and I think your style stands out really well.
    Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem.


    • jimmy20johns gold member
      January 12
      Edit | Reply
      Hi. Many thanks for your very nice comment, much appreciated. Cheers, jimmy

  • Maedes
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    like the title...
    succes in your contest


  • left
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    You have an intriguing way of sharing the images that live inside your mind. I enjoyed being on this page. Take care,

    AD

  • Yvette Champ
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    I like the personification of Death, interesting that the poet chose the female as opposed the traditionally used male for the reaper of grim,that grim reaper we are all familiar with. Perhaps the female was used to denote temptation and the word prostitute as a prostitute procures her clientle and this suicidal soliliquy is pure poetry with a smooth freeflowing rhythm that exposes the dark thoughts without adding dark thoughts to weighten the reader,not an easy feat but one that has been achieved admirably.

1 - 17 of 17