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WEARY - A Dirge

Sing no songs of love or pleasure

nor to me red roses give.

Play for me a mournful measure -

sins of mine may god forgive -

of this living I've grown weary

      miserere. miserere.

dreary is the life I live.

 

Sing for me the dirges dreary,

sadly scatter rue around.

Of this living I am weary,

I would lay me where the ground

heaves her hollow breast amound.

      miserere. miserere.

Make for me a mournful sound
 

Author notes

Miserere ( miza-rairee) = Latin: "have mercy on me"

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Leanna-bean
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing...I loved the rhyming scheme you got going on. Thank you so much for your entry and good luck!
  • I thought it was going to be a bit cliche but it was like nothing I have ever read


    I really liked the whole 2nd or last, depending on how you see it, stanza


    This poem really made my mind venture off into a different mind set

    thanks for entering =D

  • RX-Queen
    June 6
    Edit | Reply
    Great write, love the way it was written,welldone. Thanx for entering and good luck!

  • EarthToJim
    March 12
    Edit | Reply
    BEAUTIFUL! Congrats on the trophies.


  • Klixxz
    March 8

    Edit | Reply

    pretty

    i really like this one. It's really freaking good. For someone who is mainly a visual artist, you do some damn good wordsmithing. I'm jealous.
  • The repation is amazing and so usueful in making your point know and emhazizing what needs to be pointed out. Thank you so much what does a dirge mean, just curious????

    Thanks again

    • jimmy20johns gold member
      March 7
      Edit | Reply
      Hi. Many thanks for all your thoughtful/insightful comments! You asked what "dirge" means: it's a chant or song of lamentation or mourning. Thanks again. Cheers, jimmy

  • cricketjeff gold member
    January 30
    Edit | Reply
    You know what Sue and I both think of your poetry, this is no exception. Very different and very sad but a brilliant poem. For me you are undoubtedly the find of this series.
    All the best and we both always look forward to reading your new work.
    Jeff and Sue

  • Legend silver member
    January 29
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on your award Loved it at first read and more so with every subsequent one Excellent

  • Joe Bloggs
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering my contest for DREARY poems. This is indeed very dreary in my opinion. Indeed so much so, that I laughed a bit.

  • Legend silver member
    January 19

    Edit | Reply
    If one thing this contest has given me (and there are many) it is the chance to read some poets that i may well have never had the chance to do.This like the other works of yours i have read is a pleasure to the eye.A great grasp of rhyme and flow May i wish you the best in the contest


    • jimmy20johns gold member
      January 19
      Edit | Reply
      Hi. So nice of you to comment - and such a nice comment too. Many thanks my friend (will be visiting your work shortly). Cheers. jimmy

  • Sagerider
    January 18

    Edit | Reply

    This one is great

    This one should be done to a harpsicord or mandolin. It sounds like it would have been written 500 years ago. Any way it is perfect.


  • melphleg gold member
    January 18

    Edit | Reply

    impressive

    I'm impressed with both the flow and the rhyme. Both are very well done. The whole piece has a consistent melancholy feel to it.

  • poppyday
    January 18

    Edit | Reply

    A perfect trudging rhythm that matched the "dreary" theme.

    I especially liked "scatter rue around". I may have been tempted to place "of this living I've grown weary" in the same line position in both verses.Hope you win the contest Jim.

  • Yvette Champ
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    An uncompromized,freeflowing natural rhyme and lilt,good usage of alliteration and repetition. The poet exposes and explores weariness without making the reader feel more weary.Neat.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    I really hope this is poem not 100% truth!
    A really lovely write, your style changes but your ability to paint with words and to select them so perfectly does not.


  • Maedes
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    Love the style and the rhyme
    Success in your contest

  • very dreary!!! but excellent in write! best to you in the contest ~blessings always~ Trisha

1 - 25 of 25