That hanging tree was waitin
hands tied behind his back.
Face looked beat up bad from where
Billy and I was at.
Standing on the street
making polite conversation
as my momma taught.
Watched them lead the black,
throw that hanging rope over.
Thinking they were going to kill a man that day.
Now my pa was a gunsmith no surviving sons.
A wife dead in child birth, we were the only ones.
we had come here looking for a brand new start.
My dog Billy and I followed as they took him through the woods,
to this small beat up town, after they had stolen all his tools.
I followed to the edge and backed against that tree,
Pulled the peace maker from my skirts, my pa had adapted just for me.
8 bullets none to waste, just a girl until the first one found its place.
Get my pa down, was the what they heard from me.
Shot and killed eight men that day for us to get away,
They took my Billy out, we gained a horse lost pa's tools.
Left for a better town with a church,women and a school
My Pa he's startin to worry about me.
Author notes
very much a horse and trail rider. YesI have more of these.
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Oh crap i messed up on my last comment
*look forward to reading more*
not writing
lol.
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OH I LOVED THIS ONE!!!!!
I agree with some of the comments below this was good because you can tell a story but a poem at the same time, and still make it sound good and pin together nicely. I really enjoyed reading this.
I look forward to writing more.
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Loved it. I'm not a writer who can tell a story in a poem like that, so I'm always impressed by people who can. I liked where it went, and the end made me chuckle.
Thanks for the write.
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Always seems difficult the business with the ropes, people taking things they can't replace, so often the wrong man too...the story is a gripper...i like the way it is told, no flinching...like the girl in the tree...PK
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Although I like this piece I think it can be improved by a smoother rhythm and meter, the first lines are fantastic in that department and then it starts to slip away, I'm not picking on you, I know it's hard to tell a certain story and do everything 'perfect' but I think in this case thinking of meter will do this well. The story, however, is wonderful, and the surprise at the end is priceless.
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Thank you for reading and while I appreciate your comments and no doubt they are true. I 'feel' it the way it is ..it was written quiet a while back.
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I worry about my daughter,too; and she ain't shot nobody yet!
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Perfect! I love your style, very refreshing, man I love this one! Reminds me of all those old stories I grew up loving! I think I'm going to host my next contest just so I can see what else you do - keep an eye out for it
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GREAT STORY!
Adding you to my fav's....how can anyone resist a
great story teller...who writes poetically all the
vivid images and layers the poems for us to enjoy!
BRAVO! BRAVO!
ears/Seattle.
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oops these are due
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good story tellen Rheea,love the way you can convey the southern -drawl'
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Very enjoyable!! I liked this. Well-worded..kept you reading. Great images. And I like the twist at the end.
Very well done!
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nice
nice write for the prompt . . daring story . . liked "Pulled the peace maker from my skirts" and "My Pa he's starting to worry about me" . . good luck in the contest
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never trust a woman that can shoot! lol
an entertaining read, very enjoyable.
Rory -
wow!
I liked this one! I'm gonna put you as a favorite so I can find you and read more. thanks! I grew up reading westerns and you've hooked me. Good luck with the contest.
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Excellent Write
All I can say is this is wonderful and deep story in verse......thanks for entering...
novy
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wow. this is a really great poem, sister pot. this kept me on the edge of my seat and it didn't end like I thought that it would. outstanding job.
good luck in the contest
kat
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I Just love it.
It is really great, very visual, I was there!! I love it.
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Well Weaved~
Thanks for sharing,
all the best within the contest sweet soul!
-Timothy
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I'm very good with this tale
You speak a tale of a daughter very resolute. She is ready to use her guns to defend her Papa. Yes, your papa is worried about you, but only because he didn't regonize the state of mind you were in. Little does he know that you wear the guns in the family, and you will use them to protect him...forever.
Beautiful write, do you have more like this?
Thanks so much for entering our contest.
Brazos -
Nicely done here!!!! Definately could feel the ways of the old western with a twist of the south thrown in!! And they say women aren't good for much, well this just proved them wrong! Best of luck in the contest!
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