On a hopeless night i met you online
We talked together for a while
For what we got to know each other
I think you cant even remember
I thought its you came as an angel
I knew God has sent you from heaven
after this the story has changed
i needed to make my life rearranged
I thought so many times that i should think twice
It shouldnt be going in this way but your lies
Kept it going on and kept me hurting on
You came into my life to suck my blood away
For my wrong decision i needed to pay
To whom i should stick to
Or whom i should let go
I have decided by myself
So cannot blame yourself
Author notes
Option#5
A contest entry
- Relationships Aren't Easy Anymore. by Poetryintheblood.
525 points, ended June 10, 11 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mistake by LoverBoy4u.
471 points, ended June 29, 14 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites w/ options!!!!! by perfectsunset.
450 points, ended August 14, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please help me to turn to be a better writer
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
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You have put a lot of emotion into this poem and shared it with us so I feel very honoured after reading it. I just feel that if you want to ensure your message is understood fully perhaps add some punctuation and revise line 5 - I'm not sure what you were trying to say here. Other than that great job, keep writing!
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This is a very good write.You deserved both the HMs you got for it. Brilliant write!
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Soul, my heart i feel for you as you reach out in the dark. Your afraid to carry on for fear of hurting or stumbling along the train tracks for fear of slipping in to the darkness.
You don't want to put you heart back on the line, fearing that this time it may be your mistake.
My Quote " If you can't love wholly, for fear of a broken heart, then loving but not reaching can loose a true love." -
great write, i feel the emotion in it and the hurt. I know it can be a crazy thing when love blinds us and then it all comes back in the end to hurt more.
Keep writing :]]
. Rewarded 4
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Interesting poem- I can feel the hurt in these lines, of feeling used, betrayed and possibly emotional abuse... Love can be so crazy - and to think, we let ourselves get into that mess- Ugh!
Nice emotional write
Amber -
Good write about heartbreak. That feeling is one of the worst in the world. Lovely poem.
Best of luck & thanks for entering
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I enjoyed the thoughts that reading this provoked. Although I do believe in a purpose behind everything.
Deciding to let this person go says a lot about what you truly think you deserve in life, and are bound to move on to better experiences! -
i felt alot of heart in this poem
it really makes me think bout how much heart you put behind this poem.
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sorry but i must now DQ to be fair
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Thank you for your beautifully penned and heartfelt entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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Nice heartfelt poem. I can feel the emotion from this. We all make mistakes in our lifetime. Thanks so much for entering and good luck!
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oh very sad story
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Oh what a great sad poem, i wish that stupid girl will understand what mistake she has done..
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You know what this poem deserves more than HM
but anyway congratulations on the HM and wish you best of luck in other contests, thanks for sharing your pain
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Very angry, a nice flow. i think it shows an understanding of the way a person thinks, don't we all blame the one who hurts us instead of ourselves.
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This poem really touched the heart
and was a wise caution too...it was meant as a confessionary type poem..so can not be rated with poetic
structures....I give this poem...an 8....
and thankyou dear poet for the bold courage it took
to write a truly wise cautionary poem!
ears/Seattle
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.: please give your comment to another 1 contestent and give them your judged point in a scale of 10 :.
.: Thjanks for joining my contest:. -
To the first stanza, I can relate a lot.. infact I can relate to the whole poem.. Beautifully written poem.. I must say the emotions are flowing from the lines.. and the best part of it is that it is written in a very simple english, yet so wonderfully. True talent of poetry can be seen very clearly. I liked your poem a lot. Beside, I must say internet relationships are never true. Keep writing Rehan.
Peace,
Lonely
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From reading this I think that there were lies told from her part? If that is the case then lies can ruin a relationship before it even gets started. You can get to the bottom of a thief, but never a liar.
You have written this from your heart, and it shows. Again well-written piece here. Well-deserved of a trophy. Well done.
Darkest
Wishes
Wayne Leon
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Amazing
Oh dear! you have amazing talent of expressing yourself, really i love, my dear this is life and this is love, you have to face its difficulties and challanges with smiling face, but i cant understand that " I have decided myself: So cannot blame yourself" any how take what life and love gives becouse these are the precious gifts, which make a better tomorrow.
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I have decided by myself
So cannot blame yourself
Here i tried to mean .. i have decided by myself to love that girl, so i cant blame her that i fell in love with her..
thank you very much for your comment
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Whoever say whatever this poem is one of the best, yeah there may be some places where you could improvise but, that is not necessary. Thanks for sharing.
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while you do a good job describe how you feel, I wanted more concrete details as to what made you feel that way: that might be the oppportunity to really infuse this with more poignant emotion
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I think this was very good poem but in my opinion I think you should show a little emotion well I mean a little more but this was good. I hope I didn't offend you and if I did I'm sorry it wasn't for me to say.
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Very good
Good luck -
Interesting
This is is definitely different from other poems I have read. It feels slightly incomplete, like only part of the story is told. You have good flow . -
this is a very interesting write and even though it does not ryhme it does flow.. your words make the reader really think... good work
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b4 i read this i need you to put your AN please
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Wow, a different type of meeting, and love.
I like it.
Very unique and strong.
Well Done. -
Your emotions and heart speak loudly in this. I know how this feels. Your poem so honestly speaks of heartache and treachery. I enjoyed this so very much...even with the sad tune it sings...the words are beautifully touching!
Az
. Rewarded 4
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I think a person has to make a mistake at least once in their life to gain an experience. Many of us do turn to the internet for dating, although it never really works out.
Good write..
Rose -
Great Write very emotional I cant say I understand " So cannot blame yourself" that is incorrect english but very good anyway
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Aww this was so emotional, as you have opened your heart and soul out here, I can feel your pain. It's hard to get through and "online relationship/close friendship, feelings of possible love. Its so easy for others to break a heart and leave it unmended for someone else to hopefully come along and pick up the pieces... yet we, the ones with our hearts being broken-- cannot fathom such as to why it happens. But we are so forgiving as we express not to blame themselves for they don't know what they are doing.
this was so powerful, but a beautiful message within;
hopes that one day things will change.
Amazing write! -
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Thanks for your supportive and inspiring comment
You are a good reader
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Thank you for your well expressed entry,and one many will relate to, good luck in my contest, Josie
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you have reminded me my bf, that boy sucked my blood and gone away, why some people like to hurt others?
You came into my life to suck my blood away
For my wrong decision i needed to pay
To whom i should stick to
Or whom i should let go
I have decided by myself
So cannot blame yourself
You have made me crying -
so yea this is a piece fo writing i can relate to. i dated a girl i met on this site.. i traveled form ohio to california to be with her and lived on the streets for 5 months. then as i got shit together and started getting everything in order she left me for antoher online guy in texas.. just went up in the middle of the night and left with him i didnt even know it until w week later,, oooh this brought back her memmory.. now im pissed lmao!
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hi it is a very interesting poem, great
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well done - sometimes poeple come into our lives and we feel like they are one of the best things to have entered our lives only to be hurt emotionally and spiritually. then reality sets in within our minds and we finally become at ease with those around us. thank you for entering and many blessings always xx
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thanks man..but i am broke..i have nothing..she took all away..
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