Continual pleas
Swirling around
Listen closely
Hear the sound?
"Come
Ride me
Come
Free me"
echoing.
Author notes
16 words exact.
luna-midnight
A contest entry
- 16 words by nothinghere.
450 points, ended February 17, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Quickie by Hadji Murad.
300 points, ended March 24, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #52 Turning bronze to gold by daviscth.
300 points, ended March 5, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITES! ROUNDS CONTEST!!! by Luminescence.
525 points, ended March 23, 189 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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just love it.
..simple words, haunting, great form. its brilliant.
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Oh my goodness this was beautiful - i would never have thought to take it down that alleyway but you did it marvellously - bravo and congrats on the deserved trophy
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Very touching! the silent voices of the inanimate, so imaginative. A special few words that take us to the plight of the carousel horse and the plight of people, being taken for a ride. I see why this one was recommended for the spotlight...congratulations.
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wow...this is brilliant. take away the photo and it is vague enough to fit into anybody's life. excellent poem.
sincerely.me
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This is a pretty impressive use of 16 words. Congrats on having the poem featured on the front page of the site, it's a well deserved honor.
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wow makes me think
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The thing about a great poem is that it makes one "think". This poem makes one "think". Wonderful! Congrats on your trophy.
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!6 words that say more than some poems of16 lines say. Well done, a great verse.
Pam
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Wow!! So touching and deep... beautiful, makes someone's mind think and wonder and gives a feeling of freedome specially if you read this:
""Come
Ride me
Come
Free me""
in whisper...
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short and to the point, yet worth a second read.
I thought it was fresh, original, not boring. Something new is always good.
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Amazing and unexpected
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Thank you so much for entering, this piece was wonderfull... because you have made the next round I will not be scoreing....
~lumin -
This is a take piece to go with the pic.
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Shock! This is stunningly beautiful!
"come, free me"
A beautiful poem -
This is short but profound. The ending is so lucid and kind of haunting. That one word means so much. I love this poem a great deal. It evokes such stirring emotions in the reader. This is very nicely written. Great job and good luck.
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ooh..chilling! Grats on your bronze!
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Cool atmosphere.
Congrats on the Bronze.
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Oh I love this piece, wonderful imagery and flow to it for just 16 words, marvellous
Thanks for taking the time to enter my contest, wishing you the best
Karen -
Since my internet decided to be slow this morning, I didn't see the picture until after I read your piece, and when the picture showed up, I thought my thoughts taken from the poem were projected onto the screen, haha. Good write, and good luck in the contest.
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Well Done Carousel
Your carousel was very poignant and I love the way you involved creative photography as well.
The Poem:
- Amazing rhymthm, it beacons, luring... so carnival!
- Bright and airy word choices;
- Content's structure brought the story line to a climax!
- Juxtapositioning "Need for Love" and "Freedom" is an excellent union of themes!
For all of the above and more, I hope you win; certainly, you have a strong entry!
Thanks for entering and sharing!
bj
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Brilliant
This is the case of a brilliant interpretation of a mundane scene. I love the way your poem reflects the trapped loneliness and sterile repetitiveness of the carousel creatures' existence. The clever word "echoes" reinforces this empty repetitiveness. Superb poem my friend.
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this was really nice
"come ride me"...love it -
STUNNING!!!
Stunning lil Sis. I love it. It is very very beautiful indeed. Wow!!! Brilliant image and writing here.
Love ya
Your Brother
Wayne Leon
xxx
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Aww. This is so beautiful You did a fabulous job with this masterpiece. Best wishes to you in the contest I hope you win. God bless you always in everything you do and write.
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Aww! Man! Looks like I have some stiff competition, dang! Seriously though Steph, this is awesome hun, I'm soooo proud of you oh daughter of mine.
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