Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

three weeks late and you are still here


believe me, afterward
when the swelling began
any woman would
                know.

i checked off days on my
calendar, asking everyday
for my navel to whisper
exactly what is evolving.

it's been too many hours
and the package is just
sitting on the still
as i squat over a timid time teller
my future a blank dank hole or
a pink plus of approval
to begin vomitting.

you squint your eyes a little
at my scientific proof
rub the beginnings of tears
out of your eyelashes
bend down to my belly
and breathe through my skin:

hello baby.

Author notes

I had scary dreams of this happening.
But I know if it did...
let's not go there quite yet.

...would you stay with her?

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • peregrin
    September 23

    Edit | Reply
    I love this, it is fantastic.
    It made me cry...
    but that isn't a bad thing, my emotions suck right now.


  • zillion
    March 1
    Edit | Reply
    Um...I'm wondering about your question? Would you stay with the pregnant woman? I like the use of phrases like

    "evolving" and "scientific proof".

    It adds sharp contrast to the emotions that should be felt, compared with the scientific terms. Very creative.

  • ea silver member
    February 27
    Edit | Reply
    oh, that "pink plus of approval to begin vomiting." LOL - how very true.


  • red violence up
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    as with the vast majority of your poems, i find it difficult to really say anything of value

    volnerable images. The question kind of varies with people? of cource the guy should stay but then its complex.


  • wistfully written
    February 20
    Edit | Reply
    so.... not true, right?

  • Phoetiquette
    February 20
    Edit | Reply
    would you have an abortion?

    • acoustical
      February 21
      Edit | Reply
      if it happened right now, this year? god, i don't know. probably not...

      [NO NOT NOT TRUE, ALI]

  • Restriction
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    Pregnancy? The guy should stay with her.
    The ending isn't as effective as the rest of the poem. Put something more or something different.

  • girl shaman
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    thats was adorable
    hm the question of wither some guy would stay with a pregnant girl is endless. most guys arent ready but they become a man when they take that responsibility; or just be a little boy and run off.
    ugh..
    im so very blessed all the times i got scared and it didnt happen :/
    its a scary feeling; at a young age that is.
    but this was beautiful..


  • love.me.dead
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautiful.

    i know this feeling...only you wrote it far more lovely than i ever could. i'm jealous.

    "...and breathe through my skin:

    hello baby."

    wow. such a delicate image...amazing.

    <3

  • nice poem sweetie
    i could see such an image
    amazing
    keep up the great work best wishes to you
    and lots of love,

    endless-lover
1 - 11 of 11